


Old Flames

by ThePastReliesOnMemories



Category: No Straight Roads (Video Game)
Genre: Arguing, Best Friends (Former), Crying, Denial of Feelings, Dorks in Love, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, First Love (Again), I REGRET NOTHING, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Idiots in Love, Love/Hate, Male-Female Friendship (Former), Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Post-Canon, Prison, Redemption, Slow Burn, We Die Like Men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 26,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27583889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePastReliesOnMemories/pseuds/ThePastReliesOnMemories
Summary: It has been nearly two months since the end of the Rock Revolution resulted in the restrictions on Rock being lifted along with other music genresfinallybeing allowed in Vinyl City - as well as the destruction of NSR's satellite before it crashed into NSR Tower, which was averted thanks to the joint efforts of NSR and Bunk Bed Junction. The city was still in an adjustment period as the music company underwent changes to its policies and all, but it was expected to result in a better Vinyl City, thus the CEO took on the challenge head on so she could keep her promise to the people.The perpetrator for the satellite incident, Kliff Hangar, has been apprehended and sent to prison. It should have been the end of all things for Tatiana Qwartz, who was content with knowing that the man would rot in jail for the next five years....And yet, she finds herself unwilling to leave him alone in there - so she visits him, again and again.She doesn't know why she bothers.
Relationships: Eve | Nadia & Tatiana | Kul Fyra (No Straight Roads), Kliff/Tatiana | Kul Fyra (No Straight Roads), Mayday & Tatiana | Kul Fyra (No Straight Roads)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 44





	1. Prologue - Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> _Pasta_ , I can hear my conscience crying out, _a fifth fanfic?! You're not even done with the other four!_  
>  One, I can explain. Two, I do what I want. Three, these two need more content and it hurts my soul to not see more of them so _I will die trying to make actual romance out of them_.
> 
> Okay, back to explaining.
> 
> "Life is a Song" ended up becoming a collab piece with Roseyful (the author for the 7 Minutes in Musical Heaven fanfic, you should check it out!), so we're roleplaying out the next chapter of it... which may take a while as she's currently busy with exams.
> 
> So, what about this fanfic? 
> 
> Well, glad you asked (or not), because this fanfiction will be my dumpster fire for angst, lots of it, and my usual "Enemies to Lovers" trope hell. Taking place in Post-Canon NSR, this fanfic will pretty much be attempting to give a more sympathetic spin to their relationship (but without denying that Kliff was an asshole during the game), based off every single one of my headcanons for the two so far. I hope I can pull it off well, but man, writing as Kliff sure was difficult compared to Tatiana.
> 
> Anyway, if you're up for some slow burn hell, feel free to join me on this trip as I struggle to write this story out. And yes, the usual " _I will probably take ages to update this story_ " warning applies. This story is also more likely to enter M Rating territory as it deals with the kind of romance brought about by many years of pining (on whose behalf, you'll find out, heheh).
> 
> Oh, and special thanks to Briar, a good friend of mine from Discord for helping me out with the Mayday and Tatiana scene! Couldn't have written all of that exposition down without her help.
> 
> Let the shitshow begin!

_~*~*~*~*~*~_

_[Kliff Hangar has been sentenced to a few years in jail according to your orders, Tatiana.  
Is there anything else?]_

The message popped up on the screen of her phone one day in May, a month after the Rock Revolution took place and NSR's satellite nearly crashed into the tower— if it weren't for Bunk Bed Junction's efforts to return the control of the districts to their original charters, once they realised that they've been made into pawns for Kliff's scheme of overthrowing NSR (and EDM) and letting them (and Rock) rule the city instead.

The man was found to still be near the Grand Qwasa when it was all over, and he was immediately arrested by Vinyl City's police force. He was seemingly too dazed to even run away after his army of security robots were taken out in one blow by a single strum on the guitar – from Tatiana herself.

His face had been bruised slightly, especially near his nose, the last time she saw him.  
He deserved it after all that talk of how _she betrayed him_.

_As if **she** didn't feel betrayed at all when he'd spewed out his hatred for her that one night, years after she broke contact._

"…Hm." With a quiet sigh, Tatiana typed out a response to the message from her right-hand woman.

_[No, that is all, Eve. Thank you.  
You may return to your duties.]_

_[Yes, Tatiana.]_

And that was that.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The restructuring of NSR's policies and the changing of everything else related to _why_ the Rock Revolution occurred had been… stressful, to say the least. Meetings, paperwork, the kind of work you'd expect with such a huge effort – Tatiana barely had any time to herself for _weeks_ after the Revolution ended, and Kliff's jail sentence had been thrown into the corners of her mind until Eve's message reminded her that _yes_ , she made that order in the first place.

Again, he deserved it.

You don't get away with dropping a satellite on a tower with just a slap on the wrist.

Now Kliff was most likely in jail, she's still stuck in paperwork hell for a while, and Vinyl City was seeing the start of a wave of change in how things worked around there. It would take a few more months for the changes to really make an impact, but a little bit of progress was still _progress_ nevertheless.

In the meantime, there was a meeting scheduled with the Board in an hour or so, and yet another weekly meeting with NSR's charters in the evening to hear if they had any issues with their districts, since the Rock Revolution had left quite a lot of graffiti and vandalised equipment in its wake (DJ Subatomic Supernova was _livid_ at seeing his statue with a giant graffiti on its surface; that rant of his lasted for _hours_ —), not to mention that the property of innocent civilians weren't spared either.

The districts were… quite a sight, back then.

Within a week after the satellite was destroyed, all of the graffiti was scrubbed off and erased along with the satellite's confetti-like remains, although the equipment will take a while to replace entirely.

Still, it was her job to listen to their suggestions and concerns, then inform the rest of the company's workers about what they would focus on in turn.

One step at a time.  
Little by little, until order was re-established.  
She made a promise to the people of Vinyl City, she _must_ keep it.

…And so, here she was, working on paperwork in her office again.

To the monotonous noise of her fingers typing words on the keyboard to her laptop, Tatiana's thoughts wandered off – of how this city might've been if Bunk Bed Junction hadn't gone off and started a revolution. Would NSR still be the way it was before? Or would the people grow restless and start a revolution all on their own? Judging by the degree of vandalisation that occurred, most likely so.

That being said, it was a miracle that Bunk Bed Junction managed to get all the way to her in the first place. Climbing their way to the top of the chart, becoming stronger as more and more fans supported them— and most of all, they had help from _Kliff_.

A faint memory came to mind, of her asking Mayday _how_ exactly did they meet the man, during a talk they had when she visited one of their concerts with a flower bouquet, a gift as congratulations.

According to her, Kliff had somehow messaged the young woman (and for some reason, she dismissed the question of _how_ he got her number in the first place, _who doesn't ask that at the very least?_ ) and complimented them on their performance (of course he did, he was a huge fan of Rock—) while wanting to arrange a meeting with them.

To sweeten the deal, Kliff added that he knew how to defeat NSR.

With that, the indie rock duo decided to see what he had to offer – and so he asked to meet them at the Festival Plaza.

That was how they first met, and he became their source of information about the other charters and herself. Taught them how to make use of the Platinum Discs, and supported them all the way to the end… and came to the tower himself to gloat about their victory in her face, not even caring about the percentage of the energy output caused by the music fight they just had.

He was using Bunk Bed Junction to have Rock rule the city again… and to prove her wrong.

Which, _what the hell._

Then he had the gall to _ask_ if she understood just how badly she treated him, of wondering whether his _loyalty_ meant anything to her after he's done so much for her, of how much he supported her and everything when the Goolings disbanded.

_Once upon a time, it **did** mean something— but not anymore._

She may have started it first, but it was _him_ who dealt the final blow to the remains of their friendship.

_Did he forget about that night?  
Or was he just a jerk this whole time?  
She may never know the answer._

Everyone knew the story from that point on (or, at least, she and Bunk Bed Junction did): She insulted him, he de-orbited the satellite, B2J realised they were in the wrong as they were now no better than NSR once they've defeated her and taken over Vinyl City, they rushed to start the plan to save the tower, and Tatiana broke Kliff's nose – and they saved the tower moments before the satellite crashed into it, with the help of the other charters.

It had been a long night, back then.

…Sometimes, she wondered about what happened that made the man change so much from that dorkish person she befriended back in university. She knew that those were the bygone days of her youth, yet she couldn't help but reminisce when there were so many memories of them together, both bitter and sweet ones.

Well… now that she knew that Kliff was behind bars, she could rest easy with the knowledge that the man was being punished for his crimes.

_Briefly, her fingers paused in mid-type.  
Something bothered her._

She… did _feel_ satisfied, didn't she?

Then why did the thought of it make her feel uncomfortable?

Before she could properly think on that niggling feeling she had, she heard the doors to her office open up – she'll address that odd feeling later, as she lifted her gaze and saw a certain blonde rock artist walking in, waving hello at her. "Heyaaaa, Tatiana!"

Oh.

She expected it to be one of NSR's charters, _not_ the guitarist of Bunk Bed Junction.

"Mayday?" Raising an eyebrow, Tatiana wondered what brought the young lady here to her office. She may have given permission for B2J to visit the tower once in a while, but she didn't expect a visit _this_ soon after the end of the Rock Revolution. Nevertheless, she nodded at Mayday as a greeting, then continued her work on her laptop. "Well, a good afternoon to you – what brings you here?"

Mayday quickly approached the CEO's desk with an excited flair to her steps, and their gazes soon met— curious pink eyes of flower-shaped pupils, and a pair of questioning magenta ones with bright red pupils.

The younger woman took a deep breath, and…

"I'm here becaaaause… I'm wondering what happened to Kliff!" A sheepish smile appeared on the girl's face. "You promised that you'll take care of it, aaaand it's kinda been a whole month since you gave us any news about him? Eheh…"

What, just for that?  
"You could've just messaged me, Mayday, either privately or through the group chat."

"Well… yeah, but I still wanna meet my idol and all! And I have other stuff to ask you about too! _Pleaaaaase?_ "

And there's the puppy eyes.

Sighing, Tatiana relented. "Fine. About Kliff, he's been sent to the city jail. Five years, according to my orders." As much as she hated the man, the fact that the whole thing happened because of her negligence and her own mistakes regarding how she handled NSR and Vinyl City… spending that many years in jail should do, although it was tempting to increase the number of years. "Is that enough for you?"

Hearing that, Mayday slowly nodded in acceptance, her face solemn for a brief moment. "…Good. I hate Kliff for what he's done," she muttered under her breath, yet just loud enough for Tatiana to hear her. "I can't believe he tricked us into doing his dirty work…"

_A feeling of discomfort washed over her.  
Flooding from her chest, down to her fingertips.  
There it is again._

Tatiana remained silent, deciding to not comment on Mayday's words.

That, and that same feeling of unease hit her again at the mention of _Kliff_ — but why? The man hated her, and she hated him back. The night they met by chance all those years ago had already destroyed whatever chances they had to reconnect and re-establish their friendship, and she _spat_ in his face that she didn't care for him at all ( _"Listen here, Kliff. I don't give a damn about you, understand? I. Owe. You. Nothing."_ ) on the night of the satellite crash.

It frustrated her.

Why is she feeling this way?

…She'll have to properly deal with it at a better time, as Mayday was soon back to her cheery self, bouncing up and down in excitement as the constant smile that rarely seemed to come off her face widened into a knowing grin. "Soooooo, about the Goolings…"

Ah, here comes the questions.

For Mayday, this was a _very_ big opportunity to see if any of the theories she came up with was true. It's not every day that she got to meet with Tatiana, so why not take the chance? So, she decided to start it off with a simple one. "Why'd you name The Goolings— y'know, _The Goolings_? Is there some meaning behind it? 'Cause I don't get it, but it sounds super-duper awesome anyway!"

The meaning behind the name of The Goolings?

Tatiana pursed her lips for a few moments, wracking her head for the memory of _that_ talk between her former bandmates – it's been so long, she can't particularly remember all the specifics. "…I do not remember it much, as it's been over two decades since we had that talk. The general idea was that someone suggested we use the word 'cool' in our band name, but using it directly was _'too boring'_ , so another had the idea of changing the _'c to a g'_ , and another decided to add the _'lings'_ part to it. Altogether, it sounded like _'Cool Underlings'_ but shortened… or something along those lines."

Just saying it out loud sounded ridiculous to her ears.  
_Cool Underlings_ , seriously?

She must be missing a few other details, but they were already lost to time by now.

"…Oh, right! I forgot you were old." Mayday huffed for a bit, feeling disappointed, not to mention that Tatiana was very blunt with her answer as well. Despite that, she took a quick moment to look around the room while trying to find an idea on what to ask next— "There were rumours that two of the members of the Goolings were dating… were they true?"

Clasping her hands together, the blonde girl had a hopeful look in her eyes as she asked: "Please, _pleeeease_ tell me that the drummer and the vocalist were in love!" Compared to the last question, this topic seemed to excite her more for some reason.

_…Did this girl just call her **old**?_

A reminder of her current age (being two years away from turning fifty was a sad reminder of how she spent her 30s and 40s so far…) wasn't a pleasant one, so Tatiana gave the guitarist an irritated look for the comment. Although, the mention of the rumour the girl mentioned made her mentally groan instead, enough for her to sigh and pinch the bridge of her nose.

Oh, Qwasa.

She'd completely forgotten about _that_ , and now she was reminded of it again.

Letting her hand fall, the CEO decided that she'll have to be upfront about it. "…I'm afraid that I'll have to shatter your rose-tinted glasses, Mayday. They _were_ together, but the _'in-love'_ period only lasted the first week of the relationship."

Ah yes, the sad and stupid tale of Quincy Borva, the drummer, and Josh Larimar, the vocalist.

Can't believe she decided that man was a good addition to the band because of how _nice_ his voice was – he wasn't worth it, in the end.

"The vocalist was, frankly, an _asshole_ , so their breakup was expected although he remained with us for longer after that. He did get kicked out at some point." Tatiana resumed typing away at her laptop, taking note of the time – she should prepare her notes for the meeting soon… "Any other questions?"

Mayday pouted – all these answers were resulting in more and more disappointments. "Aw, dang… but the vocalist looked so hot—" Well, there goes her hopes that the man was the dream boyfriend anyone wished for. Maybe she should ask about something simpler again. "How abooooout…" As she extended the word, she'd twirl one of her braids with her finger, almost making it stuck into a knot— before noticing and quickly avoiding that potential embarrassing dilemma.

"Oh!" Immediately, she perked up as a question came to her mind. "Did you guys have a base that you all lived in? That'd be sooo _cool_! I bet there were big bean bags and a pool table and maybe a fireplace with a bear mounted at the top and stuff!"

Tatiana raised an eyebrow. "A base…?"

…Oh, did she mean a hideout of some sort?

"Well, we did have a room for us when we were still in university, if that counts. Decorated to the brim, and I was the only one who kept it tidy enough." What were the things inside that place…? "There wasn't much, really. A sofa, a table for us to either do things or play table games on, random décor here and there which were brought in by the drummer and the original bassist of the band, including a _floor piano_ of all things, and a few bean bags."

It's a miracle she managed to recall that much.

…Why _did_ she remember all that, including the floor piano?

"A while after we graduated, we converted a small studio apartment into our band's meetup place. By then however, we weren't doing too well... you know how it goes." Once she finished, Tatiana finally noticed just how _close_ Mayday's face was to hers.

The girl's pink eyes were sparkling in awe as she gasped out: "You guys had a floor piano?!"

"…Yes?" Somehow, the CEO had managed to not get caught off-guard by the gesture— and Mayday finally backed away, squealing in excitement.

"I wish I had one of those!! Gosh, I'm really jellyyyy!" Mayday squeaked out in her usual semi-hoarse high pitched… _fangirl_ voice. She eventually patted her face and returned to the desk, clearly excited now. "Okay, okay, sooo… I know this is probably gonna sound weird, but what do you think about those random theories on the forums saying that Kul Fyra got kidnapped by some weird cult with like… a pyramid thing as their logo or whatever?"

By the end of that, Tatiana had a perplexed look on her face.

Kul Fyra getting kidnapped by a _weird cult_ with a pyramid logo of sorts?  
She'd never even gotten kidnapped in the first place, so how the _fuck_ did this—

"Are… are you talking about the _Illuminati_?"

"Yeah! I can never say it right, haha. I dunno, some theories about stuff like that happening was preeetty weird…"

…Well, nothing really seemed to surprise her anymore. "No, I never got kidnapped. Nothing as crazy as _that_ ever happened. We may have done ridiculous things back then, but nothing like _that_ either."

Mayday giggled at the older woman's response. "Hehe, okay, uhhhh..." She was back to looking around the office again, trying to think up her next question. "Um… have you broken a guitar before?" she eventually asked, looking down at Tatiana.

This particular question made the CEO grimace for a moment.

"…Once, during band practice." And it wasn't a good memory either. "It was before I had the famous Kul Fyra guitar made, and I was testing if regular guitars would work in place of my old one, which was a bit busted up but still in a good condition."

Back then, the concept of music being able to not only cause mutations in people, but also create reality-bending effects due to the musician's genre _and_ their emotions, amplified further by the power of their fans all at once— it was a frightening combination, as instruments back in her youth weren't manufactured with this in mind, so they were severely lacking in their ability to handle that amount of power.

"Long story short, it couldn't handle my fire powers, and… well, I overused it and it exploded. Broke my legs in the process. That is when I ordered for a custom one, and the Kul Fyra guitar was what became of it."

Mayday winced at the thought of it. An explosion big enough to break _Kul Fyra's legs_? "Dang. Guitars could explode back then? Maybe someone put explosives in it— like… uh, the Coke and Mentos trick?"

The cheery guitarist blinked once, now in awe of the concept and speculating.

"That… that counts as an explosive, right?"

Tatiana tilted her head thoughtfully for a moment. "…Perhaps. Just that this explosion is a lot bigger than the kind of explosion that experiment creates." She straightened herself and looked up at the blonde girl. "Have you heard about the concept of 'music mutation', Mayday?"

"Hmmmm, I _think_ I've heard of it before? But I dunno much about it." Mayday shrugged her shoulders, a curious glint in her eyes now.

"As I thought. Well, what you need to know is that music wasn't only capable of being a power source, but it also caused _mutations_ in bigger musicians, one of which includes my ability to harness fire. It depends on the music genre, their emotions towards their music, and their fan power— but the gist is that if you played music, and you were a well-known artist, you were able to harness powers that could alter reality to some extent."

To showcase this, the older woman lifted her right hand and snapped her fingers, the sound echoing through the office— and a small flame bloomed on her index finger, glowing brightly as it burned from her flesh.

She watched as Mayday stared at it with a childlike wonder, gaze moving between the fire and her finger, noticing how it didn't burn her at all.

"Woah… and this doesn't hurt?" The guitarist asked, looking at the CEO in surprise. "Your finger doesn't even look like it's hurt!"

"I've long had the ability to turn my flesh into magma and directly create fire on my body, _before_ I started playing Rock, even. Still, Rock helped to control it better, and I was able to use fire as a weapon directly." Putting her finger to her lips, Tatiana blew on the flame to extinguish it, leaving behind little puffs of smoke to rise into the air. "The more famous the artist, the bigger the effects— and the concept of music causing mutations was a newly discovered fact that was being researched back in my day, so instruments weren't equipped to handle it, nor designed with that in mind."

Hearing that, Mayday tried putting two and two together. "Soooo… since the Goolings were pretty famous, and your fire is super-duper powerful… oh." Added with the regular guitars, no wonder the one Tatiana used during that practice exploded in the end. "Ouch."

Returning to her work on the laptop, Tatiana smiled wryly. "Well, it was inevitable."

And the custom-made guitar was a good investment anyway, although it did cost her a _lot_ to get it in the first place.

"Mmmm… speaking of guitar stuff, since you got more experience than me on that guitar – and you're a professional, can you like… mentor me and stuff?" Not long after those words left her mouth, a better idea struck Mayday. "Oh oh, even better! _JAM SESSIOOON!!_ " She cheered at the idea, getting increasingly excited and practically vibrating with _energy_ upon thinking more in-depth of the idea of a small jam session between her and Tatiana— having forgotten that the CEO had little time for such things.

"…I'm too busy for such things at the moment, Mayday. We're still dealing with the changing of NSR's policies and implementing them," Tatiana told her with a sigh, wondering briefly about the last time she had proper leisure time for herself. Most likely before the whole Rock Revolution happened… "However, I'll think about it when things calm down in the future." She gave the guitarist a rare smile. "It has been a long time since I last played a guitar, after all."

It wouldn't hurt to enjoy something from her youth, even if she was no longer an artist.  
She'll just have to wait and see if her work lessens up in the following weeks.

All of that aside, she took a glance at the time on her laptop— ah, she should start preparing now.

Closing the device, Tatiana got up from her seat and began picking up a few important papers from her desk. "Excuse me, I have to leave to prepare for a meeting now. It was nice to see you, Mayday – keep up the good work with those concerts of yours." Last of all, she picked up her laptop and began to leave her desk—

"…Can I join the meeting?"

_What?_

Mayday had a somewhat straight face yet with a tiny smile on her lips, her pink eyes blinking in expectation of a _'yes'_ for an answer… for some odd reason. Well, it was the only thing on her mind right now— it'd probably be fun to attend a meeting… and spice things up with some music… she didn't want to spend her day having nothing to do in the hideout again.

Blinking once, Tatiana stared at the girl incredulously. "…This is a _board meeting_ , Mayday. If you wish to talk about economics or details about the rise and fall of the company's stock value, be my guest."

Meetings with the board were always… stressful for her.

Yes, she studied about business management back in university, she had a degree to prove it— but still, who wants to talk with people who only cared if the company would bring in revenue and such?

She had to either way, as the CEO of No Straight Roads.  
_How fun._

Ah, but… if Mayday wanted to join one of these meetings so badly, maybe the _other_ one will do.

"Although… you're free to join the meeting in the evening, since that's the one involving NSR's charters. If that suits your fancy."

" _Yesss!_ " At the confirmation, Mayday made a little pump-up gesture with her left hand, grinning oh-so happily. Oh, she has to tell Zuke about this, too— and get some early dinner from the Hungry Hideout Restaurant before they even go to the meeting!

She ended up running off and out the room in an excited skip, only to momentarily backtrack in her steps to at least say goodbye properly, and waving.

"Byeeeeee, Tatiana! Good luck with the meeting!" Then, off she went down the hallway leading to the elevator, doors closing behind her.

Tatiana merely chuckled at the sight, adjusting her hold on her laptop and paperwork as she prepared to leave for the meeting room. The only reason she was entertaining Mayday's request was to show her that sometimes, _one shouldn't randomly ask to join meetings_. The fact that the meeting would be about the districts themselves— well.

It could serve as a wake-up call for Bunk Bed Junction as well, killing two birds with one stone.

First, however, she had to deal with this board meeting…

~*~*~*~*~*~

The sound of a chime greeting Tatiana as she opened the front door to her apartment was but a small mercy.

Returning late at night, Tatiana quietly groaned as she closed the front door, hearing it click shut before it automatically locked itself. She took off her heels, setting them aside on a shoe rack before she began massaging her aching right shoulder with her left hand— the meetings had taken a long while as expected, and she'd needed to finish urgent work that forced her to stay back at the office much longer than she usually did.

At least the meeting with NSR's artists _and_ B2J was interesting to some extent.

The others were shocked at the sudden guest appearance of the cause for the vandalism in their districts, but they'd been mostly… tolerant about it. Until Tatiana mentioned about the leftover damages that couldn't be immediately repaired, at which she could see her artists giving the pair knowing looks.

It was obvious how awkward the guitarist and the drummer seemed – they had the decency to offer to clean up the leftover mess themselves, at the very least.

Well, served Mayday right.  
This was why you don't join meetings randomly.  
You don't know what they're going to be about.

Although, what was Zuke thinking when he decided to eat _shellfish snacks_ during a meeting…? Not to mention how distracting the crunching noise was— she had to give him a pointed look to make him realise that he was disrupting the meeting. Mayday even gave him a somewhat harsh punch to the shoulder for that.

Eugh, that's the last time she's letting them join on a whim.

Nonetheless, she got on with her usual routine of getting ready for the night, aside from the lack of dinner as she'd already eaten.

Entering the bathroom of her apartment, she began undressing herself: Pulling off her gloves, taking off her earrings and her glasses so she could place all three near the sink, followed by discarding her workplace attire (the vest and the sleeveless dress) into the laundry basket set next to the bathroom door. Then, she put her arms behind her back and let her fingers do the work of unhooking her bra, soon throwing it into the basket together with her underwear after she'd slipped that off too.

After that, she opened the glass door and stepped into the shower.

Slowly, the knob was turned around slightly.  
Using a hand to test the temperature of the weak stream of water streaming from the shower head, water dripping from her fingers.  
Cold. Still cold. Somewhat cold. Mildly warm. Warm enough.

She turned the knob fully, and the water came through at full force.

Sighing quietly, Tatiana stood under the water for a few moments as she let the warm water run down her fatigued body, faintly feeling the top of her head get hot as the water made contact with her hair (did it even _count_ as hair, when it's just a chunk of hot, living stone?) and immediately steamed up.

Her fire powers were strange, but at least they didn't make her adverse to water.

Nearly forty years of living with them and she still managed to discover new things… hm.  
What an eventful year.

As she eventually started to wash herself, her mind drifted off to think about her work for tomorrow – the board meeting told her that NSR was still struggling during this period of change, but it was projected that once the changes to the policies were fully implemented and they had their first Lights Up Auditions next year, the return could potentially be tenfold as more people were given the opportunity to join the company as an artist.

The meeting with her charters told her that there weren't any new issues in their districts, although blackouts were still a regular thing. As expected, since they were still stabilizing things after being forcibly removed of their status and all. It should start to improve as the months go on.

…Now, what else should she think about?

Ah, right, that jam session Mayday asked about. And the mentoring. And… _Kliff_.

The instant Tatiana thought of him, yet another sigh left her lips. She did promise herself that she would think about it when she wasn't occupied… she might as well do it now, rather than letting it bother her the next day.

So.

Discomfort at the idea of Kliff being in jail.

The man may have been her best friend during her university days… and she'd trusted him deeply, _much more_ over everyone else she knew at that time— but what use are those bittersweet memories when he clearly hated her very existence for _abandoning Rock_? And she returned that hate all the same, in fact, she'd still punch him in the face if he pissed her off again.

Then again… she never really did give herself the time to _think_ about what happened to him. Excluding that one night in her mid-30s when they met by chance, and the night of the satellite crash, they hadn't properly met since she was twenty-four years old.

Now she was forty-eight.

All those years since she cut contact – it was more than enough time for her best friend to change into a man she never met.

Did… he ever return back to his hometown? Did he just choose to stay in Vinyl City instead of returning to his hometown which wasn't even _that_ far from here, living in a city where no one knew him… for _over two decades_? He was a jerk now, but his parents were kind and sweet— dear Qwasa, she doesn't even know if they're still around.

If they were, have they heard about his jail sentence?  
He was still their only child… it would devastate them.  
Not only that, would he be able to handle _being_ in jail—

Tatiana suddenly shut her eyes, and took a deep breath. "…Damn it."

Old habits.

Deciding that she has showered for long enough, she twisted the knob the other way to turn off the shower. However, she remained standing inside it, the silence only broken by the occasional water dripping from the shower head and onto the drain, with a _tink, tink, tink_.

Turning her head to the side, her eyes glanced over at the tall glass walls that encircled her and the shower, briefly wondering if she should count the number of droplets stuck onto the transparent surface. It was a stupid idea in general – she just wanted to stop thinking about Kliff for a few moments, yet it was all her mind could think about.

The fact that she was _concerned_ for him and his family was the final piece of the puzzle as to why she felt uncomfortable about the idea of him being in prison. The answer was: She can't bring herself to _leave him alone_ in there, to let him rot in there for the duration of his prison sentence.

A place that she sentenced him into staying for five years because he deserved it, and she couldn't be at peace with herself.

Why, though?  
Why care for him, after everything?  
Why can't she leave him alone?

…She doesn't know.  
_In the glass wall, she saw a hazy reflection her face, distorted by the numerous droplets on the surface.  
_Her chest felt as if it would burst. _  
The reflection stared back, and slowly it smiled back at her as it asked:_

" _Do you really?_ "

Just as she whispered out those words, Tatiana _snarled_ and abruptly rubbed her hand against the glass surface, smearing the water droplets together until she couldn't see her own reflection anymore, panting heavily once she was done.

Bullshit.

She knew how she felt, and she was certain that she hated him— despite Kliff being her former best friend, she wouldn't hesitate to draw the line there.

Tatiana finally pushed open the glass door to exit the shower, soon grabbing a clean towel to wipe herself dry before wrapping it around her body. Picking up her accessories that she had placed near the sink earlier, she then exited the bathroom and resumed her nightly routine. She tried her best to keep her mind clear of all thoughts… and yet, it wasn't even that long before she returned to thinking of the same topic again, as she put on her clothes for the night.

Kliff, Kliff, Kliff… a thorn in her side, someone annoying, someone hopeless. She knew that she shouldn't even bother with him. He was a lost cause, he had it coming for a _long_ time, so why the _fuck_ does she still feel worried for this bastard?

What would it take to make her stop feeling this way?

…This was ridiculous.

At this rate, she might even consider going over to the city's prison and just _visit_ the man himself. It wouldn't even take long to schedule for the visit, considering her position as both the CEO of NSR _and_ the Governor of Vinyl City. She would actually do it, simply for the purpose of reminding herself that the man she used to care for was _gone_ , once she witnessed how he behaved.

It would only be a phone call away.

On the other hand, though… was she desperate enough to do that?

Pulling down her shirt over her torso, Tatiana snorted and shook her head – _no_ , she wasn't at that level yet, and not for a long while, hopefully never. Her mind was just lingering on him due to their past history, and she'd forget all about it once she got some sleep.

Tomorrow was a new day, after all.

~*~*~*~*~*~…~*~*~*~*~*~

It didn't help.  
The idea was still in her mind.

Persistent.

Sighing deeply, Tatiana covered her eyes with her hand as she leaned back in her chair, growing irritated with herself.

Rather than the idea just disappearing from her head the moment she woke up the next morning, it instead decided to be a constant presence in her mind, nagging at her when she was not preoccupied with work or talking with one of her workers. At first, it was manageable as she could ignore it— but then, it continued to pop into her mindscape when she least expected it, and now her patience was running out.

It was by some miracle that she hadn't gone and broke Eve's television again (which, yes, she did actually replace at some point after the Rock Revolution, she's not a _savage_ – but why is that thing still in her office?) with a single punch, instead putting that frustration into a pencil she had been using earlier.

Which… was now broken in half.  
And on the floor.  
There's pieces of a pencil on the floor.

_Damn it!_

Letting her hand fall, Tatiana huffed and straightened herself.

"…Fine. _Fine!_ " she hissed out through gritted teeth, adjusting her laptop's monitor to have a better view. From there, she started searching for specific documents related to Vinyl City's prison in NSR's database, opening them with ease as an admin in the system, all while she muttered under her breath: "I'll just go and visit him _once_. That'll make me see that he's still a jerk."

She skimmed through the few documents available about the prison, until she found what she needed. With that, she proceeded to do one last check of her schedule for the next few days, then grabbed her phone from where it was on her desk and dialled a number.

Putting the phone to her ear, she waited as the call tried to connect.  
Eventually, someone answered.

" _…Vinyl City Prison. How may I help you?_ "

The person (it _sounded_ like a man, but she didn't want to assume) on the other end had somewhat of an emotionless voice, which made Tatiana raise an eyebrow for a moment, although she dismissed it and went on with her business. "This is Tatiana. I'd like to make an appointment to have a private meeting with a prisoner there."

There was silence for a few moments from the other end, followed by a _crashing_ noise— " _Y-yes, Miss Tatiana! A private meeting?_ " Now there was a shuffling noise as the person continued. " _…Well, there is usually a two-day waiting period before a visit… but we can prepare for a meeting as soon as tomorrow for you, Miss Tatiana. May I know the prisoner, the preferred time and the date?_ "

Hm… her schedule for the next day wasn't too packed, since she already dealt with the important meetings the previous day.

Tomorrow will do.

"2 o'clock in the afternoon, tomorrow. The prisoner I wish to meet is Kliff Hangar."  
" _…It will be done, then. Will that be all?_ "  
"Yes, that is all. Thank you."  
" _O-of course! Have a pleasant afternoon, Miss Tatiana._ "

The call ended there.

~*~*~*~*~*~…~*~*~*~*~*~

Prison life was tough to get adjusted to… but after being in here for nearly two months, Kliff could say that he was starting to get used to it. There was a schedule to be followed every day, and everything had its set time period. His cellmate, Zachary, was quite a decent individual, introducing himself amicably during his first week in the place.

As for the rest of the people in the prison?  
Eh, he can say that he would be able to exist peacefully in the place, at least.

…He did miss wearing his scarf, though.

And his headband.

Kliff felt naked to some extent, his neck being left bare since he can only wear his prison uniform with no accessories allowed whatsoever. His hair was also left in some kind of messy, scruffy hairstyle, no longer being held up by his headband.

At least he could keep his beard…

Anyway, after being around for long enough, he'd learned bits and pieces about the people that were spending their sentences here. Some were people who'd done petty crimes and were unable to pay the fine nor the bail, another bunch for more serious sentences like fraud and whatnot (but none for murder, apparently – probably got sent to other prisons out of the city).

There _was_ , however, a special bunch of people in here… people who had once led a (failed) rebellion against NSR, _before_ the Rock Revolution, but with a similar intent of bringing Rock back to Vinyl City. Of course, Kliff has heard of it since he has lived in the city for over two decades.

One of them was Zachary, which shocked him at first.

Either way, Kliff didn't pry into his business any further, and neither did he – they only told each other the very basic idea of why they were in prison for, and how long. They weren't close enough yet to properly talk in-depth about the crime that landed them in prison, although they could have conversations about anything else.

Himself, for having a part in the Rock Revolution, five years and just starting.  
Zachary, for having a part in the _previous_ revolution, seven years and has spent two.

Was this intentional, or a coincidence?

Oh well, it's not as if he can do anything about it.

Lunch period had just ended, so Kliff was doing chores in the prison cell along with his cellmate, sorting out the few things they had while Zachary was wiping the surfaces of some spots that were dusty. It was a two-hour period of doing whatever they wanted in the cell except for sleeping, so they both equally decided to clean up the place, then later chat about a few things while they rested.

Or, at least, that was the plan…

The knocking on the cell door surprised the two men, when they soon noticed a guard peeking in through the window of the door, who opened it. "Mr Hangar, get ready to leave the cell. You are to follow me to a room."

"Y-yes, sir!" Blinking once, Kliff hurriedly got up from the floor (as did his cellmate) and dropped whatever he was doing to approach the cell door, glancing back at Zachary for a moment. The other man gave him a mix of a confused and worried look, but he tried to give Kliff a thumbs up as support – guess even he didn't know what the ginger man was being escorted off for, which, _uh oh_.

Kliff just hoped that he wasn't going to get hurt or anything.

All the stuff on TV about prisons weren't helping his imagination…

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was a fairly small room.

Fit with a table and two chairs inside of it, and a glass window wide enough to fit a whole wall's length, although it was also barred off – to prevent prisoners from escaping, no doubt.

If anything, it reminded Kliff of an interrogation room from those police TV shows.

He felt uneasy as he sat alone in the room, waiting.  
A guard stood nearby, watching his every movement.

He was escorted here for the reason that someone had requested a private meeting with him, and that they would be arriving in a few minutes. He was warned by the guard to just sit in the room quietly and do nothing until this person arrived, or he'll be punished. Well, he wasn't planning to rot in solitary confinement for a whole week, so he did as he was told.

…In the meantime, as he waited, Kliff started wondering on who the person visiting him was.

All of his friends (or… whatever friends he had left) and family (only his parents, really) were back in his hometown, and he didn't make much friends in Vinyl City either (not after his best friend had practically cut him out of her life without warning—), so who would request a _private meeting_ with him of all people?

_Click._

Huh, good timing.

Perking up, the ginger man straightened himself in his seat and watched as another guard opened the door – and a lady of ashen-white skin and rock-like magma hair entered, magenta eyes staring down at him coldly.

Kliff stared back in disbelief, frozen in place.

"It's… _you_?"

Standing in front of him… was _Tatiana Qwartz_ , the CEO of No Straight Roads and the Governor of Vinyl City— formerly known as Kul Fyra, the Leader of the Goolings… and once upon a time, was his best friend. The last time they met had been about two months ago, at the height of the Rock Revolution, and that particular encounter left them at odds—

Kliff knew that, he knew _exactly_ what he did, and it was why he was in here in the first place.

_So, why is she here?  
After everything, when they had **no reason** to see each other again?_

With a calm expression on her face, Tatiana held her arms behind her back and stood with the grace of a woman who was in a high position. Her voice held no warmth as she greeted him.

"Hello, Kliff Hangar."

Oh, no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beautiful cover art was made by my good friend OblexoidBriar (who's stuck in this ship after I managed to convert her into this hell), and I edited it to add the text and some other stuff. Go look at her art on Twitter, she deserves all the love!
> 
> Original: https://twitter.com/oblexoidbriar/status/1346280439825137664


	2. The Middle of Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Not shy of a spark  
>  A knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark  
> Frightened by the bite, though it's no harsher than the bark  
> The middle of adventure, such a perfect place to start."_  
> \- **505** by Arctic Monkeys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I sacrificed a lot of time I could've spent on assignments, so... yep.  
> I don't know if I regret it or not, but hey, a second chapter is a second chapter!
> 
> Anyway, this chapter involves a _lot_ of inner monologue from both Tatiana and Kliff, but we also finally get our first interaction for the dang ship this story is written for! Writing the two of them was quite a challenge of its own, when just writing either Tatiana or Kliff alone was a struggle... what more trying to come up with proper bullet points based off a bare idea for how the interaction should go - I _think_ I did good enough, but eh, I'll leave that up to the readers to decide if they like it.
> 
> Special thanks to EmperorOfMemekind, DJ インク, and Briar for help with ideas and checking my text, and also thatarikuchan (aka Madam Merluvli from Zuke's VA's Discord server) for help with the Tatiana and Eve interaction scene! Also a little thank you to ghostelboo for some moral support. Couldn't have done this chapter so quickly without their help.
> 
> The name of the chapter is a pretty special reference despite how odd it sounds, I suggest looking up the meaning of the lyrics if you're curious.
> 
> Oh, and fun fact, Briar drew some fanart for the previous chapter's Mayday and Tatiana interaction scene, so check it out! (https://twitter.com/oblexoidbriar/status/1331417458679242755)
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

The shocked expression on Kliff's face was quite the sight, with the way he was gaping at her.  
Well, Tatiana hadn't expected herself to do this either.

She had no reason to be here, to _meet_ him face-to-face like this… but if it meant curbing her lingering concern for him, so be it.

Glancing at the guard who stood in a corner, Tatiana waved a hand to dismiss the man. "You may go. I'll take it from here."

Usually, a private meeting was a difficult matter to set up – one couldn't always trust the prisoner to behave themselves unless they displayed good behaviour for long enough, and there were fears of the visitor being harmed if left alone… all that aside, she wasn't a damsel in distress, she could take care of herself just fine.

Those clock hand swords of hers weren't just for show, after all.

Kliff should know better than to do anything, _if_ he was capable of it.

"…Yes, Miss Tatiana." The guard saluted at her in respect and followed her orders, leaving both adults alone in the meeting room as the door shut behind him with an audible _click_. Kliff just seemed to shrink further into his seat once it was just the two of them left— and yet, he continued staring at her despite the huge difference in their status, his shock having long been replaced with a mix of confusion and suspicion.

Tatiana merely sighed at the sight and finally took a seat at the table, crossing her arms together as she stared back at him. She said nothing for a good while, opting to observe him for the time being – and neither did he, though he did seem uncomfortable at her staring.

It's… strange, to some extent.

Kliff's appearance was… _drastically_ different to how he looked on the night of the satellite crash about two months ago.

Gone were his usual scarf and headband, and even his little hoop earring wasn't there. She rarely ever saw him without these three things, even back in university – he was almost unrecognisable without them, aside from his bright ginger hair and beard, and those huge square glasses. He was dressed in the standard blue prison uniform, and his hair was a messy mop of ginger as it was no longer held up by his headband.

_He somehow looked like a whole other person, and yet, so familiar at the same time.  
…If he had kept this kind of hairstyle back then, maybe—_

_Okay_ , that's enough observing.

It's time that they started this talk.

"Well, you look better without that stupid headband of yours," Tatiana commented first with a disinterested expression on her face, her voice breaking the awkward atmosphere between them. "I'm surprised you managed to last this long."

Kliff huffed in annoyance, and he rolled his eyes at her. "You couldn't have started with something simpler, Tatiana?" Of course, she just _had_ to bring attention to his current look. The fact that she called his headband stupid made him feel more irritated than he should be, forcing the ginger man to take a deep breath and clear his head. Right, she'll just insult him to the ends of the Earth… he should get used to it. "…Stop it with the empty talk, why are you here?"

"Why _can't_ I be here, Kliff? The fact that you made a mess of my city with the Rock Revolution is enough of a reason, don't you think?" The CEO retorted, the features on her face twisting into one of exasperation. "I don't have to explain any further."

Kliff's hands tightly gripped the material of his pants.

It always came back to his actions with the Revolution.

"…I won't deny that." Frowning, he briefly looked away from the woman sitting across of him. After a few seconds of staring out the window, he focused back on Tatiana, staring at her seriously. "But here's the thing – I am _already in jail_. You've given me my punishment and all, so why visit a prisoner? Don't you have better things to do than visit someone _you don't give a damn about_?"

Oh.

_He did not just **say** that._

Tatiana easily recognised the very words she spat in Kliff's face at the height of the Rock Revolution. How couldn't she, when all of her years' worth of anger and disappointment towards him were channelled through those same words, now echoed by the very man she said them to?

She clenched her upper arms, feeling provoked for a fleeting moment— and she uncrossed her arms first before leaning forward in her seat, glaring sharply at Kliff as she hissed out: "For your information, _I still don't_ , and I _never_ will. I am only here to see if this prison is doing its job well of handling the bastard who tricked Bunk Bed Junction into overthrowing NSR for the sake of having _Rock_ rule this city again."

A lie, but she wouldn't tell him that she was here because she still _cared_ for him. Oh, no, he didn't deserve to know that, not after everything he had done and said to her, _hell_ _no_.

This man wasn't her best friend anymore.

This talk should show her just how much of a damned _jerk_ he was still.

Kliff felt a burning sensation grow in his chest, gritting his teeth behind pressed lips— _frustration_ , he would call it, as it boiled and bubbled up and threatened to _spill_. Did this woman think she was free of blame? She'd done just as many mistakes as him, so why is she acting like she didn't do anything wrong? It was unfair to think that _he alone_ was the one with dirt on his name, when her company had done just as much.

Eventually, he took a long, deep breath… and he leaned forward as well, placing his arms on the table with his hands clenched into fists.

"As if you were any better, _Tatiana_ ," Kliff started off, an annoyed smile now appearing on his lips as he said his former best friend's name with a harshness that made Tatiana scowl at him. "Might I remind you that your _dearest_ company was not only _biased_ in auditions, but it also used emergency power for _concerts_ , focusing more on your _artists_ than the actual people of Vinyl City!"

"Oh, so _now_ you're talking about the good of the city? What happened to not caring about energy outputs, or seeing how _wrong_ I am, or wanting _Rock_ to rule the city instead of EDM?" There was a faint wisp of smoke coming from Tatiana's head now, the red of the chunk of stone that was _technically_ her hair beginning to glow brighter. She didn't notice how her emotions were affecting her body, too focused on being _angry_ at Kliff's sudden change of heart.

Why now, when everything was already over, when he could've just started caring about the city _before he got thrown into jail_ —

"You're two months too late to make that argument, Kliff. We are working to make sure _none_ of that happens again, so sing a different tune already, or so help me—!"

"That doesn't erase the fact that _you_ made these decisions, and to your own birth city of all places! And I _know_ what I did, you don't have to say it!" Kliff's annoyed smile had long fallen, with him now glaring at the CEO as his anger began to leak through his mannerisms and voice. "Just let me ask you something, Tatiana: If I never helped Bunk Bed Junction out, and they never managed to reach you, _would NSR still change_?"

This question was something Tatiana had asked herself before.

She knew the answer.

Shaking her head, she wryly smiled at him, though the edge in her voice hadn't disappeared. "…No, most likely not. I know how I acted, NSR wouldn't have changed if it weren't for the Rock Revolution showing me the error of my ways— but that's where I will draw the line… because I will _admit_ that I've made mistakes, but you seem adamant to run away from them. Have you learned _nothing_?"

"I am not. _Running. Away. From. My. Mistakes!_ I am just trying to say that you aren't free of blame yourself, Tatiana!" Stressing his words out, Kliff's voice became louder the more he spoke, clenching his teeth strongly as that feeling of _frustration_ returned and festered in his chest and he just— "You crippled Vinyl City for over two decades by focusing more on NSR over the people you worked to serve, and you erased all traces of Rock from Vinyl City by force! All because of what happened with the Goolings—"

Tatiana suddenly _slammed_ her hand onto the table, cutting him off. She immediately stood up and pointed at the man as she _yelled_ — "Don't you _dare_ bring that up! And you keep saying that I crippled this city, when you would've done it _so much worse_ than I've ever done!"

At Tatiana's reaction to him mentioning about the rock band that had once been a part of their lives, Kliff stood up from his chair as well, obviously riled up from the way he glowered at her as he slammed both of his hands onto the table's surface as well. "Oh, yeah? What's worse than monopolising the energy output of Vinyl City into concerts rather than to the people for nearly _twenty years?!_ " he yelled back at her, challenging.

Was Kliff _seriously_ asking her that?

Oh Qwasa, he really was a _fucking jerk_.

Snorting derisively, enough to startle Kliff at how _out of character_ it seemed, Tatiana stared at the man standing before her in disbelief. "Oh, I don't know, maybe _dropping a fucking **satellite** on the tower?! _Did you even stop and _think_ to consider how much damage it would've done, and how many people might've died?!"

Kliff didn't immediately respond.

" _Answer me, Kliff!_ "

And still, he wouldn't.  
Instead, he looked away from her—

The expression Kliff had on his face made Tatiana freeze, and it felt as if all of the thoughts in her mind had halted and _crashed_.

_Is he… showing remorse?_

Remorse.  
Remorse?  
_Remorse?_

…Why does he have that face on him?

Was Kliff feeling _guilty_ for deorbiting the satellite… when he was so _proud_ of having done it back then, saying that he was _saving_ it for a more meaningful day— and now he's showing **_remorse_**? Nearly two months after the Rock Revolution and only now does he show guilt for his actions? What was this supposed to mean? Was he not that crazy bastard who just wanted to see NSR go down in flames?

Was he not some _maniacally evil jerk_ who sent the satellite come crashing down just because _he can_?

_Who is this man?_

This man… he's not the Kliff who laughed in her face on that night.  
That Kliff would have never shown _remorse_ for something like this.

_So, why? Why now, why everything?_

_Why do all of that in the first place?_

Further down into a spiral of confusion did her mind fall, and Tatiana _breathed_ over and over (inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, _inhale—_ ) to try and keep herself calm – but it did nothing, it did _nothing_ at all to curb the growing fire in her chest. She could feel her head becoming hotter, as it threatened to burst into _flames_ —

It was such an absurd thing, of the simple reality that Kliff wasn't as evil as she believed he was.

She wanted to deny it.  
Deny it to the very end.  
He was gone, he _is_ gone.

_But he's not, he's **not** gone—_

Everything would be much easier if she believed in the idea that Kliff Hangar was a scoundrel who sent NSR's satellite crashing down through the atmosphere, and _not_ the man who was her best friend once upon a time— and yet, this display of guilt had somehow made its mark on her psyche, enough to tear her mind into two as she struggled to come to a conclusion about what she just witnessed.

It should've been easy. It's should've been _so_ damned easy to make her choice, to decide right here and now about how exactly did she feel towards this man. Kliff was no longer that best friend of hers, he was a _fugitive_ , he tried to ruin her company to the ground just so he could have _Rock_ rule Vinyl City again, instead of EDM.

He's irredeemable, rotten to the core.

This must be a lie… so why can't she decide on how she should think of him?

 _And yet, what if this isn't a farce?  
_It has to be a lie.  
_What if he truly did feel remorse for what he did?  
_Shut up, it's a _lie_!

_Think about it!_

No. No no no no no. She doesn't want to.

_She obviously still cared for him, the **old** him – too much, too deeply.  
So, think about it… what if he can be redeemed, what if that Kliff was still in there?_

The old Kliff Hanger was _gone_ , there was no use trying to cling to those bittersweet memories.

She just had to let go, and _move on_.

 _He's still in there somewhere, she just had to try again—  
_No, she had long accepted that the man she cared for is _gone for good_ , she is _not_ going through that hell again!

_Just take the chance!_

**_JUST SHUT UP!_ **

"Tatiana?"

Squelching the voices in her mind immediately once she heard her name being called, Tatiana snapped out of it with a shudder, breathing heavily as she blinked a few times. Why does her head feel abnormally hot… ah, her hair was on fire, of course it was. She then lifted her gaze from where she had apparently been staring down at the table, and… Kliff was staring back at her.

Judging by how wide his eyes were currently, he was presumably shocked at what he just saw. That, and there was confusion in those ocean blues, mixed in with something else— is that… _concern_ , for her?

…Oh.

_Oh._

Tatiana suddenly felt her chest tighten ever so much, smothering that raging fire as if one were dousing it with a bucket of water – and she exhaled shakily, as the flames on her head gradually shrunk until they were extinguished, leaving nothing but plumes of smoke into the air. Then, she breathed once more, again and again and _again_ until a bitter _laugh_ erupted from her—

"I can't fucking believe you, Kliff. You… only _now_? After everything?"

It's true.  
Kliff's guilt was real, he felt _remorse_ for his actions.

What does this mean?

_It hurts.  
This feeling, she hated it, **loathed** it.  
But… that tiny feeling of **hope** accompanying it was oh-so liberating—_

…She doesn't want to be in here anymore.

_Get out, get out, **get out** —_

Tatiana laughed and _laughed_ until her voice felt strained, until her throat felt hoarse, until she just couldn't _breathe_ anymore. She gasped for air while staring at her former best friend in disbelief, magenta orbs staring back at those bewildered ocean eyes— before she immediately turned around and stormed out of the room, not bothering to wait and hear Kliff's answer to her query.

Slamming the door shut behind her, the CEO left.

She didn't come back.

Kliff merely stared at the door in silence, left alone in the room.  
…Had she returned, he still wouldn't know how he would answer her.

He sighed quietly and sat down on his chair, holding his head in his hands.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The sound of heels clacking against the floor echoed through the hallway leading to the CEO of NSR's office.

_Clack, clack, clack, clack.  
Rhythmic steps, yet a force behind each one—_

…and the doors burst open to reveal Tatiana as she entered, a trail of smoke coming from her head. She was visibly irked by what happened back at the prison, as she proceeded to stand in the middle of the room and crossed her arms. She began taking a few deep breaths while she tapped her index finger against her upper arm, as if following a tempo – in and out, in and out, repeating this process as she struggled to calm herself down.

Except it wasn't helping.

Each wave of cold she dragged in couldn't smother the burning _fire_ in her chest.

In the end, she sighed and uncrossed her arms to instead pinch the bridge of her nose, attempting to relieve the pressure there as she closed her eyes. Simply trying to think about what happened a while ago was frustrating her immensely (and making her head grow hot, _literally_ ) with the lack of answers to all the questions in her head.

Kliff wasn't a crazy lunatic in general, that's one thing she knew at the very least.

Does that make it any better, though?

The purpose of her visit to the prison had only been to prove to herself (but to which part of herself exactly is she proving…?) that Kliff Hangar was still a jerk, so she could stop caring about him— but all it did was make her annoyed beyond belief. No, scratch that, she was _furious_ at that bastard. And… _confused_ … on how she should feel towards the man who she once trusted with all her heart.

A man who apparently still had the decency to feel guilt for doing something as outrageous as sending a _satellite on a crash course_ into a tower full of people. Even then… that shouldn't be enough to make her think of him this way, so why…?

…Enough of this.

She should just… stop.  
Stop thinking of him.  
_Stop._

_And yet, all her mind could think of were those **ocean blues** , guilt mingling with that of shock and concern—_

Her thoughts had drifted to _him_ again – and Tatiana gritted her teeth in frustration. "Tch!"

Ridiculous, preposterous, a persistent _blotch_ in her mind…!  
Why can't she stop thinking of him?!

…Before she could begin to do something about it, a familiar voice spoke up from beside her, laced with concern despite its smoothness: "Tatiana, your head is on fire."

"What?"

Directly turning her head to the left as she opened her eyes in surprise – Tatiana noticed that it was her right-hand woman, Eve. Blinking a few times and confirming that _yes_ , her head (specifically, her hair) was actually on fire again, the CEO sighed deeply and shook her head to clear her mind. The sudden change in mood was enough to dim her head's fire, albeit not enough to fully extinguish it. "…Eve, I didn't notice you entering. I thought I asked of you to at least alert me of your entrance when you do."

Eve calmly took a step back to give the older woman some space, placing a hand on her hip. "Yes, you did… and you didn't hear me."

"Oh. Well… my apologies." Tatiana cleared her throat as she covered her mouth with a fist, trying to ignore the embarrassment she felt at the knowledge that she had been so preoccupied with her thoughts, she didn't hear Eve calling out to her. "Anyway, what are you doing here?"

At that query, Eve looked at one of the many clocks on the CEO's desk. It was an odd quirk, to have so many clocks when just one would've sufficed, ranging from an hourglass to an analogue clock, then a few digital clocks – the reason was that Tatiana preferred to be punctual, and relying on many clocks ensured that her knowledge of the time was always accurate.

…That, and some of her powers involved manipulating _time_.

Coincidence? Not likely.

Without moving her head, Eve glanced back at her boss. "I am… _inclined_ to ask about your early return from the prison, Tatiana. I do recall that the next item in your schedule is not due for yet another two hours, and you've only left for about half of one."

The mention of the prison made Tatiana grimace slightly, averting her gaze from the diva.

Right.  
The visit ended barely a few minutes after it began…

Not her best moment.

Still, she had her reasons.

"Don't even get me started, Eve. That man— _ugh_ , I don't know why I bothered." Huffing, the CEO walked towards her desk – but stopped right in front of it, soon turning around and facing her right-hand woman again, clearly irritated. "Of all the things I expected Kliff to say… he decides to try and argue about how I handled NSR! He asked me, what was worse than the things I've done before the Revolution? Did he forget that he sent the company's satellite on a crash course towards the tower?"

She crossed her arms once more, her hair's fire returning to its usual ferocity as her mood worsened. "He had the _audacity_ to lecture me about being responsible for the city, when he himself said that he didn't care about the energy output during my fight against Bunk Bed Junction. And worse yet, when I brought up the satellite incident that he was _so_ _proud_ of causing back then, he was actually _guilty_ over it!"

_That look of remorse…  
She still can't believe that it's real._

_She can't get the image out of her head, either._

With a scoff, Tatiana shook her head in yet another failed attempt to get rid of the memory of Kliff's guilty expression from her mind. "He wasn't like that two months ago, so why the sudden change in attitude? I was certain that he was still a lunatic… but now he's showing guilt for something that he was _saving_ for another day?!" Infuriated, she then facepalmed herself, covering her eyes with her hand. "Argh! I don't know what to make of it!"

Hearing her boss (and to an extent, her _friend_ , beyond that of their positions in NSR) ranting about the man behind the satellite crash, Eve merely raised an eyebrow. "Then, _why_ did you visit him in the first place? He was sent to prison by your orders, Tatiana."

Tatiana paused, then fell silent.  
Her hand moved down to cover her mouth instead.

That… is a _good_ question.

How did it get to this point?

It all started because of a few lingering feelings, of that discomfort at the idea of leaving Kliff by himself in prison. She recognised it as her still _caring_ for her ex-best friend, worrying for him despite their friendship being in pieces, despite them literally _hating each other's guts_. Thus, to kill those emotions, she decided that visiting him would surely prove to herself (and she still had no idea which part of herself was the _stubborn_ one—) that the man was still a bastard.

Except he wasn't, because he showed guilt.

So, where does that leave her?

She made the order to send him to prison.  
Then, she realised that couldn't bring herself to leave him there.  
She still cared for him, and yet, she hated him too.  
Now, confronted with the idea that maybe her best friend wasn't entirely gone—

…She drew a blank.

Now, she didn't know what to do about it.

Eventually, Tatiana noticed that she had been staring at Eve (who was patient with her so far, thankfully) this whole time as she contemplated over her thoughts. At that, she turned her head away awkwardly and let her hand fall.

Her hair's fire had slowly died out during this period, long enough to also put out the rage she experienced earlier.

She felt exhausted.

Clenching and unclenching her fists a few times, Tatiana let out a sigh and shook her head. "I… don't know. I _thought_ I knew why, but after thinking over everything… I don't have a good reason to visit him in the first place. I just wanted to prove something to myself, and that failed."

She wanted to see with her own eyes of Kliff's horrid behaviour – and all she got in return was a man who apparently _cared_ for Vinyl City, a man who regretted his horrid actions. Not a man who wanted to see Rock rule the city instead of EDM, energy outputs be damned, if it meant he can see _how wrong_ she was. Even then, she could not forget the way he acted after he deliberately deorbited the satellite, following those _damning_ words she had spat in his face.

He still did the satellite crash.  
He was remorseful about it, after that.

So, why did he do it when he'll just end up feeling guilty?

That was what bothered Tatiana the most… and yet, the more she tried to wrap her head around it, the further her mind became muddled. Nothing made sense no matter how hard she tried to connect the dots, to piece together the information she had about him so far, as if she was missing a few puzzle pieces to the whole picture— and they were scattered in places she knew not.

It was odd, how the matters related to her personal life always never did go the way she wanted them to.

The Goolings fell apart despite her efforts to keep them together, followed by her relationship with Kliff worsening to the point of hatred in her absence. She was forced to confront the fact that her experience with the Goolings had affected the way she handled NSR, during the height of the Rock Revolution.

Now, right when she was ready to move on from Kliff, today's visit to the city prison threw a wrench into her plans.  
There was obviously more to the story than what she currently knew.

Perhaps the actual question she should ask herself is, _what does she plan to do with that knowledge_?

Upon arriving at that conclusion, Tatiana couldn't help but smile wryly – more self-deprecating than humoured by the total mess her mind has become. She already knew the answer to that one… so, with yet another sigh as her smile fell, she held her arms behind her back and stared at Eve once more, a sombre look on her face. "Nevertheless… I doubt I'll be going back there again. He has troubled me enough, and seeing his face is just an unpleasant reminder of how much he has changed."

After all, _why_ would she go back there?

She had better things to do, more important matters to deal with.  
She is a _CEO_ , she didn't have the luxury to spend her time doing other unimportant things.  
Otherwise, how would she keep her promise to the citizens of Vinyl City?

Kliff was but a piece of her past that, unfortunately, didn't come out unscathed from the disbandment of the Goolings. She had to accept this reality one way or another – that brief moment of remorse he showed, it _can't_ reverse the things he had done.

Their friendship was over, and she was over him.

"…I recall you mentioning that you once had a dear friend, who has changed into someone entirely different once you've met again." Eve spoke up after a few seconds, her expression softening. "It is Kliff, is it not?"

A wistful air momentarily surrounded Tatiana as she looked elsewhere from Eve. She didn't doubt the possibility that Eve had pieced together a few things, based off what little she had told her about her past during their private talks.

Not only that, she wasn't exactly subtle with her rant a while ago either.

Eventually, she gave Eve a bitter smile. "You're right, Eve. It's him."

"Ah." Now, considering everything that Tatiana has done so far— of her words, her behaviours and her gestures as she ranted about that man… it filled in the blanks of what Eve knew about both individuals, how things finally seemed to _make sense_. Eyes of emerald green stared into those magenta ones – it was peculiar, that this very gaze has seen countless experiences and people, both bitter and sweet, both kind and cruel.

She has seen it be as hard as stone and as cold as ice, enough to cut a naysayer down before they had a chance to _speak_ , to silence them with but a mere stare. She has seen it hold a sort of tenderness that would've lit a room up with a thousand suns had anyone witnessed it with their bare eyes, given to a young child who lost her father far too early, too soon.

However, never had she seen this exact gaze be so _conflicted_ over a single man. Torn between anger, sorrow, longing, regret, and so, _so_ much more— it all baffled Eve, to see a side of her friend that she had never witnessed before.

And oddly enough, Tatiana can't seem to _recognise_ the truth of the matter, that there is something else. An underlying emotional reason for the visit, for the ranting, for those brief moments where she seemed to _long_ for something, yearning to see the shadow of a man who was her anchor in the rough seas of her youth, to see it be tangible once more.

Something… unrequited.

_Is it denial?  
Or is she truly oblivious?_

Matters of the heart were always a difficult thing.

It was no surprise that perhaps the ever calm and calculative Tatiana Qwartz was lost, too, when it came down to her own emotions.

Eve slowly approached the older woman, hands of white and fuchsia gently taking hold of one of Tatiana's own – the CEO's hand was much bigger than hers combined, so warm and yet so rough. These ashen-grey fingers were lined with cracks, a sign of the years and the things they have been through.

"I am not one for empty words, Tatiana. You know that," she told her, words seemingly harsh despite the softness of her own voice. "Yet… I myself am familiar with your predicament – of the people we once knew no longer existing within them, the marks in the sand being washed away by the ocean of time." A melancholic smile graced her lips, as her small fingers traced down against the fingerless glove that covered Tatiana's palm.

These hands were capable of so much – to merge music and fire together into one seamless entity, like that of fireworks.

Bursting, _flaring_ , crashing and ever _dazzling_.

"I understand this feeling you have. The confusion. The anger. The _desire_ to see these people return to how we remember them, of that person within the framed recollections we hold dear." Then, Eve delicately closed those fingers into a fist, one by one. "I needed to learn that it was better to _let go,_ than to cling onto the matters of the past, desperately trying to turn back the hands of the clock."

She tried to impose her will upon a man she cared for. Refused to see him as someone new, someone who didn't need her, someone who thrived among another's scorching flames. Eve knew now, that her actions were wrong – they were just not meant to be from the start.

Zuke made her feel whole for the time they were together, to know that he could understand the way her mind worked, could _see_ things the way she did— but that was it, and it was merely a temporary balm to her fears. He could not be the perfect person for her, the _other half_ to her entirety, for he was his own person too. Even then, he gave her the lesson that although she might be alone in this world, that she might never meet a likeminded individual in this world… she could still feel whole, by herself.

She wanted to believe in it, that one day, she _can_ feel whole without there being anyone by her side.

Nonetheless, if that day arrives… she would continue to create music and art, to be an artist deserving of her fame.  
Ones that would allow the world to see through the eyes of a _diva_.

It was her love, her life, her _everything_.

"I refused to move on, because I was _afraid_. You know how Zuke was the only one who could _see_ the way I do – out of my selfishness, I did not want to forget him. And perhaps, there is a reason behind why you visited Kliff, just like how I couldn't forget Zuke."

Eve held her friend's closed fist for a few moments, lifting her head to look at the older woman. It was then she noticed that Tatiana seemed pensive over her words so far… but upon their gazes meeting, the CEO raised an eyebrow, now curious.

Eve opened her mouth to speak— "Tatiana, I think that…"

Her voice trailed off.

Then, she wondered to herself: _Should_ tell her friend on what she thought of this matter? Of that emotional reason, of that _unrequited feeling_ that laced her very words and movements? It was evident that there was _something_ that made Tatiana visit Kliff despite her claims of hating the man, and the CEO was either denying the existence of that reason, or is utterly oblivious to it.

Although, with the way that Tatiana was currently behaving… no doubt that such a realisation would be twisted into something else, in the hands of a mind that was overtaken by raging storms. It would no doubt rip the foundation of her message apart with its ruthless winds.

Eve didn't want to risk that.

She didn't want Tatiana to misunderstand her, with such volatile moods running rampant.

There would be a better time for this message to come forth.  
For now, she'll keep her thoughts to herself.

With a small sigh, Eve finally let go of her friend's hand.

"…I believe that this would not be your last time visiting Kliff."

"Really." Tatiana stared at her right-hand woman with an unimpressed look as her hand was let go. Of all things, and Eve says _that_? And here she was, expecting something more after all that talk about _'letting go of the people we used to know'_ and whatnot. She almost thought that Eve would follow through with her explanation. "What makes you think I will go back to that prison and visit that man again, _after_ what he said to me?"

To that, Eve simply crossed her arms. "It is only, as you would call it, a _hunch_."

Yes, the truth was better off kept away for another day.

"A _hunch_. Right…" Obviously, Tatiana didn't believe her – but frankly, she wasn't in the mood of questioning Eve any further, not when her mind was already full of questions about what happened during her talk (or should she say _argument_?) with Kliff. Shaking her head first to clear her mind, she huffed and waved a hand in the air to signal that she wanted to dismiss the topic. "Never mind. I should return to work and get my mind off of this ludicrous matter. Is there anything you'd like to bring up with me, Eve?"

"No, nothing in particular. I am only here to ask about your early return – I will return to my work as well if you have no tasks for me to do."

"Ah... as a matter of fact, I have a few things to talk about related to your district…"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Kliff stared blankly at the skies above him.

It felt as if they were mocking him with how _clear_ they were.

Compared to the mess his mind currently was, he wished his head was like the sky right now.  
A bright blue interspersed by small patches of white, brought along by the gentle breeze.  
Alas, it was but a futile wish.

Sighing, he let his gaze fall to watch the scenery instead – it was the period where every prisoner was to spend their time in the prison courtyard, so the others were either working out with what exercise equipment existed here or similar activities, or were just chatting with the other prisoners. He himself was merely sitting at one of the few benches in the area, with Zachary deciding to have his fun with the exercise equipment.

He wasn't in the mood to do anything, not after the huge argument he had with Tatiana back in the meeting room. He hadn't expected himself to get riled up so easily, but with her trying to make it as if he's the only one at fault— sure, he did some terrible stuff, but she held part of the blame too!

However, when she brought up the fact that he sent a satellite towards the tower… there was nothing he could say against that. All he remembered from that night was a haze of resentment towards Tatiana that clouded his mind, and a desire to make her _hurt_ —

By the time he came to in the middle of the Festival Plaza, he'd done some irredeemable things.

The guilt still ate at him until now.

And then, Kliff wasn't sure how it started nor what triggered it, but Tatiana suddenly began getting angrier and angrier— he watched as the top of her head literally _burst_ into flames and he was so certain that he might soon end up dead in that room, because it was never a good sign if she lost her temper enough to get that way. He certainly feared for his safety until she abruptly stopped and started _laughing_ instead, and frankly, that didn't help his case either.

He had no clue about what possessed her in that moment, as her emotions changed from one to another within literal _seconds_ , making it difficult to get a read on her. Yet, he still remembered the very words she said before she left.

_I can't fucking believe you, Kliff.  
You… only now?  
After everything?_

Vague words.

Kliff had a feeling that he knew what she meant.  
His actions during _that night_ played a very different tune compared to what his current behaviour did.

…Was that the reason?

"Ughhh…" Kliff only groaned and covered his face with his hands, not feeling any better even after thinking over what happened. After a few moments, his hands moved up to grip his hair instead, not enough to pull some strands off but sufficient to relieve the pressure in his head with a little bit of pain.

To make matters worse, he was _worried_ for her.

Worried!

Of all things he should've felt in that moment, he was _worried_ for Tatiana when her emotions started to leak into her mannerisms— she had always been terrible with controlling herself once she was overwhelmed by them. Seeing her on the brink of losing it was not only concerning, it was _terrifying_ , because who knows what she would've done with her emotions at the helm?

At least she didn't go full magma-mode or whatever, but still.

He _hated_ her, dang it!

Why feel concern for someone who clearly didn't care for him anymore, who wanted to pretend that their friendship didn't exist, that those five years where they knew each other and were best friends— _didn't **matter**_?

He should've already been over her.  
Tatiana didn't care, so why should he?  
And yet… she was _all_ that he could think of, even now.

He's hopeless.

"Graaah… and they say that you get wiser with age… what a load of rubbish." Kliff was already forty-nine this year, and he definitely didn't _feel_ wise – just confused, _very_ confused. Huffing, he then let go of his hair and shook his head, only to frown when a bunch of stray locks fell in front of his eyes. He blew one away in annoyance, then proceeded to try and fix his hair so his eyes weren't blocked.

Maybe he should get a haircut when the prison barber comes around again.  
Cut it a little shorter, perhaps?

But he preferred his hair like this… ah, he'll think about it.

This just made him miss his headband a lot more.

With another sigh, Kliff then looked up at the clear afternoon sky once more after he was done fixing his hair. Sometimes, he wished he can see the stars at night instead of this… boring stretch of blue, with all those puffy white clouds. He preferred the night sky, with the countless stars and the constellations they formed, most of which he can probably still name.

Sadly, the prison life didn't allow for that kind of luxury.

_His fingers tapped against the bench.  
Rhythmic, to a tune in his head._

_Tap, tap, ta-ta-ta…_

Hah.

Even after so long, he still defaulted to imagining that one of the songs by the Goolings was playing in his head when he had nothing better to do. He couldn't help it, when that band had been a huge part of his 20s, and his… well, _ex_ -best friend was the leader of said popular rock band.

…What was Tatiana doing now?

Busy working at that company of hers, or someplace else?  
Did she still look up at the night sky, or has that pastime of hers been forgotten, just like their friendship?  
He wouldn't be surprised, seeing that she has changed so much from the woman he used to know and care for.

_He changed, too.  
They both did._

One thing that Kliff knew for certain… Tatiana was not going to come back and visit him, not after what happened.

It's better that way.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The view of Vinyl City from the top of NSR Tower was a grand sight – from here, one could see the entirety of the city, consisting of various unique structures that one would find in a city powered by music, towering buildings (of course, none as tall as the tower itself), and unique districts that represented the charters of NSR's range of influence and their creativity.

Beyond that, one could see the ocean that surrounded the towers, the many ships that travelled the open seas which would shine their lights when night fell. The sea breeze had a hint of saltiness to it, somewhat sweet, somewhat refreshing… cold in the day, warm in the night.

Anyone who had come here before would always say the same things, of its beauty, of its awe-inspiring glory no matter the time one witnessed it at.

Not for Tatiana, however – this was a sight that she was quite used to seeing, having spent _years_ sitting at the top of a tower while working through paperwork and other work-related matters. Still, she could appreciate the sunsets when she had the time for it, and she would also come out to enjoy the view of Vinyl City at night when she needed to do overtime. It did well to relieve eyestrain and her stress, since not even she was immune to being tired.

It may take a while, but it wouldn't be long before Vinyl City truly became a city that never slept.

…Once the blackouts reduced in frequency, at least.  
They're still working on that.

Nevertheless, Tatiana found herself standing at that particular spot again, observing the city as it was bathed in the late afternoon glow. The harshness of the sun has passed, the sea breeze gave off a cool respite from the heat, and it was a fairly warm day…

It would've been pleasant enough, _if_ she hadn't decided to visit Kliff earlier today.

Worse yet, she _can't_ stop thinking of it.

Tatiana leaned against the parapet that encircled the area and took a deep breath, taking a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration as she exhaled slowly. Distracting herself with her work had done wonders so far to keep her mind off of the argument she had with Kliff – however, once she was left with nothing left to do, it was the only thing her mind could think of _aside_ from Kliff.

It was just like yesterday, when she couldn't stop thinking about the idea of visiting him, all because she still _cared_ for him. Now, she couldn't stop thinking about that quarrel they had and how Kliff tried to argue about her actions with NSR, along with that _look of guilt_ on Kliff's face at the mention of the satellite incident, and— dear Qwasa, why did it always get complicated when _he_ was involved?

All of this should've been over with his prison sentence.  
Why can't she move on…?

_…Ding!_

Her phone let out a chime.

Hearing the sound, Tatiana then took her phone out of her dress's pocket to check what the chime was for. Squinting, she tapped on the notification that was on her phone screen – it was a message from Eve. "…What is it...?"

_[Tatiana, we've successfully found a company who can fix the remainder of the broken Qwasa equipment across the districts.  
I am sending you the number. I suggest calling them to set a meeting within the week or so.  
**XXX-XXX4282** ]_

Ah, as expected of her right-hand woman.

_[Thank you, Eve. I plan to do so as soon as possible.  
With this, we can hopefully return the districts to their usual energy outputs within the next month or so.]_

Saving the number to her contacts so she could call this particular company later, Tatiana decided to take the chance to clear her contacts list of any redundant numbers, seeing as it has been a while after the Rock Revolution happened and she had been too busy dealing with the changes to NSR.

Most of the ones that she deleted were numbers for other companies whose contracts were already finished (mainly clean-up and preliminary repairs) long ago, and the ones she didn't were either companies with ongoing contracts, were in her plans to be contacted at a later date, or were companies that NSR regularly worked with. A few more were contacts for her charters and important people in her company.

Once that was done, she moved on to clearing up her call entries, removing those with names… until she came across the first number that didn't have a name to it, which stood out like a sore thumb amongst the list of company names.

It was the contact number for the prison.

Tatiana stared at it for a while, thumb hovering over the entry.

Should she, or should she not?  
It wasn't too late to plan for another visit.

Then again, she had no reason to visit him for a second time.  
_No, she did have one, she just didn't want to admit it._  
But she hated him— she was **_done_** with him.  
_All true, yet it was a fact that she wanted to know **why**._

There were… _many_ questions.

All of which she sought to find the answers for.

Why would Kliff do all that he did, if he was going to be guilty about it later? Why care for the city, why argue about her actions as the head of NSR when he _literally_ said that he didn't care about energy outputs, and that he just wanted Rock to rule the city instead of EDM?

_She can't find the answers if she doesn't **go**._

…Augh, fuck it.

Eve was right.  
This wasn't going to be her last time visiting him, after all.  
She _hated_ it when she was proven wrong.

With an annoyed sigh, Tatiana tapped on the number and held the phone to her ear.

~*~*~*~*~*~…~*~*~*~*~*~

The following afternoon, Kliff stared at the person who entered the room in a stunned silence – as it was none other than _Tatiana Qwartz_ , and she dismissed the guard just like she did yesterday. He did _not_ expect a second visit from her after… well, arguing with her to the point that she _stormed out_ of the place. Once the guard left and it was just the two of them in the room, the CEO then gave him a sharp glare while she took a seat in the chair opposite of him.

It immediately made Kliff's throat tighten up, and he shrank into his seat – he could only bring himself to stare back at Tatiana nervously, watching as she crossed her arms and continued to scowl at him. He swore that he was already seeing little trails of smoke coming from her head— he hadn't even _done_ anything yet!

Well, on the other hand, there goes his courage in asking _why_ she came back.

Not that he had much in the first place.

…After a small while of silence, Tatiana broke the tense atmosphere with a sigh. She could see that her very presence made him uneasy, which, _good_ , the bastard deserved it.

"I'll just cut to the chase, Kliff."

Uncrossing her arms, she leaned forward in her seat and gave her ex-best friend her most menacing stare yet.

"The only reason I am here is because I want to hear from you about what happened the night Bunk Bed Junction fought against me. So, answer me, Kliff Hangar – what is your motive for deorbiting the satellite, if you were only going to be _guilty_ about it afterwards?"

Kliff remained silent for a few moments, staring back.

That look of remorse was back on his face.

Tatiana merely narrowed her eyes at him.  
If Kliff knew what was good for him, he should answer her _honestly_.

_Now, what was the **truth** of that night?_


	3. Glimpsing a Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Curiosity becomes a heavy load  
>  Too heavy to hold, too heavy to hold  
> Curiosity becomes a heavy load  
> Too heavy to hold, will force you to be cold."_  
> \- **Do Me a Favour** by Arctic Monkeys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooookay. Where do I even begin?
> 
> Again, sacrificed a lot of time I could've spent on assignments. Mildly regret a few things but hey, chapter 3 is done and I can finally _rest_. Or maybe not, because I have a mountain of assignments to do... aaaaaaaaa—
> 
> Firstly, this chapter is about 10.5k words... mind you, I set a word limit - a minimum of 2k and a maximum of _10k_ words for this fanfiction, and yet, I had to break the limit a little because I was certain of where I wanted this chapter to end. Heck, despite my best efforts to cut some ideas and expand a few more, it ended up... being this long. Well, either way, the next chapter will most likely be shorter in length, so keep that in mind! 
> 
> Secondly, this chapter plays a _lot_ into my headcanons for Tatiana and Kliff as we finally have some conversation about what happened in the past and what their relationship used to be before it all went down. Admittedly, my ideas for Tatiana's background pre-game differ greatly from the usual ones, so it might be weird... but she just feels so much more fleshed out with the backstory I have for her. I hope you readers can work with me as I try to tell this story with my limited English and all!
> 
> Thirdly, special thanks to many people for their help with this chapter, both directly and indirectly! Namely: OblexoidBriar, Mr. Fahrenheit, EmperorOfMemekind, and DJ インク for help with the chapter's contents; ghostelboo and ArchbowMistress for some moral support and a little bit of help with the chapter too! Oh, and Hyenasaurus for a little "good luck" wish from them. Couldn't have gotten this far without your help!
> 
> Finally, this chapter stars the first of a few NSR OC's by some friends - this particular one belongs to my good friend OblexoidBriar.
> 
> Now, onto this doozy of a chapter!

"I'll just cut to the chase, Kliff. The only reason I am here is because I want to hear from you about what happened the night Bunk Bed Junction fought against me. So, answer me, Kliff Hangar – what is your motive for deorbiting the satellite, if you were only going to be _guilty_ about it afterwards?"

Oh.  
So, _this_ was why she came back.

The satellite incident.

Of course.

As that realisation settled in, Kliff gradually felt that damning feeling of _shame_ and _regret_ weighing down on him, like chains on his heart. He had the urge to look away from Tatiana's sharp gaze— although, he knew that there was no escape from the CEO when he's going to be stuck in the same room with her for at least an hour or more. In the end, despite his discomfort of being under such a scrutinising glare, he chose to stare back at her instead.

He was aware that he had two options now. He can choose to remain silent, or he could _try_ and answer her (with the risk of it not satisfying Tatiana anyway) – and it was obvious what the first option will result in.

After all, anything involving her was always bound to go down in flames.

Literally.

Kliff's face soon twisted into one of confusion and remorse, before he finally sighed and held his head with a hand. The memories of that particular night… he recalled the way he acted, how his hate for Tatiana twisted his words and his behaviour – she wanted so badly to pretend that their friendship didn't exist? Sure, he might as well indulge her by _acting_ the part.

Maybe his frustration, his _desperation_ leaked through the hate he had for her… and he began questioning Tatiana on whether their past relationship meant _anything_ to her— only for the woman to rebuke him by saying that she didn't give a damn about him.

Nothing.  
All those years of knowing each other, and it meant nothing.  
Despite _everything_ they've been through together, it still meant **_nothing_**.

It was funny, how a single sentence succeeded in shattering his pleas into dust.

Why did he still…

_He was nothing to her.  
It hurts, it hurts, it **hurts** —_

From that point on, Kliff vividly remembered how a certain sensation immediately filled his chest, painful and hot and _suffocating_ — Tatiana didn't give a damn about him, so why should he care? She burned all her bridges, broke off the ties that bound them together, so why shouldn't he do the same? She hurt him and didn't even bother trying to apologise for it, _so why not return the favour?_

And then, he did all that.

Not even getting punched by Tatiana herself managed to snap him out of his… _rage_.

Oh, Qwasa.  
He was _enraged_.  
Enraged beyond belief, to the point that his mind just… didn't work.

He normally didn't let his emotions take him over, he was better than that – and yet, Tatiana Qwartz had insulted him to the point that she made him feel petty enough to do such a jerk move.

She made him _snap_.

"I… I just…" Gaze briefly falling to his lap, Kliff struggled to come up with the right words to say as his mind failed to form sentences. How does he explain that to Tatiana? _Should_ he answer her with the truth? That her insults had somehow managed to _piss him off_ to the point that he'd deorbit the satellite on impulse? Truth be told, if anyone else had said those words, he wasn't sure if he'll react the same way.

He'd get angry, yes, but he wouldn't do something like that on a whim…

Did he want Tatiana to know that she achieved in bringing that side of himself out?

He soon noticed the CEO's expression darkening the longer he delayed on giving an answer, a tell-tale sign that her patience was waning. His mouth was beginning to feel uncomfortably dry and his head was already blanking out, yet he had to say _something_ at the very least—

"…I don't know!"

Uh, did a third option exist?  
Crap, crap, _crap_ —

"I just did it and I… I don't know why—"

The abrupt slamming of a fist onto the table surface cut Kliff off, as Tatiana instantly stood up from her chair with a murderous scowl on her face. There was already a trail of smoke coming from her head, the red glow of it seemingly brighter. "You don't know…? _You don't know?_ Don't fucking bullshit me, Kliff! You want me to believe that you don't even know _why_ you sent my company's satellite on a crash course towards the tower, that you just _did it_ on a whim?"

Her sour expression broke abruptly into a harsh laugh.

Oh, she didn't think it was possible to hate him _so much more_ than she did before.

And that stupid _look_ on Kliff's face, confusion and fear in those very eyes – please don't tell her that he actually meant it? That he genuinely had no clue on why he did it, that it was just a spur of the moment?

…Dear Qwasa, she can't believe it.

A deep breath, and another.  
Count to ten.  
One, two, three, _four_ —

And the top of Tatiana's head immediately combusted into flames.

"…Damn you. _Damn you!_ I shouldn't have even bothered with you, you fucking— _argh!!_ " The urge to simply flip the table and be done with this man was quite tempting to follow through with… and yet, Tatiana resorted to just kicking the leg of the table instead, a loud _clang_ sounding out from the metal. It made Kliff flinch, and the table shifted away slightly from its original place.

She didn't care if the front of her heel got a little scuffed, since her dress was long enough to hide it… and no one would notice if the table leg had a little dent in it anyway. The last thing she wanted to do was bring about more property damage, but it was so, _so_ tempting.

Anyway.

Where was she?

Taking a few moments to try and calm herself down from her fit of anger (and if her head felt less hot than it did just seconds ago, at least it was _working_ ), Tatiana's chest heaved with each breath she took as she covered her face with her hand. This is her second visit overall, and she was already losing her temper within the first few minutes – seriously, why did she even bother visiting Kliff again?

Getting an answer like _that_ was the least of her expectations.  
Who the hell deorbits a satellite on impulse?  
Oh, of course, _Kliff_.

She should've just deleted that entry from her phone.

The CEO finally let her hand fall, sighing quietly… then glowered at Kliff who promptly winced at the sight. Her magenta eyes gleamed in a way that would've killed him on the spot, had it been capable of that feat. "I expected a better answer from you, Kliff… I didn't think that you were going to be _this_ difficult, but I suppose that is my fault for assuming that you were decent enough to have a sound reason for the satellite incident in the first place."

When the prisoner before her said nothing in return, not even to defend himself, she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

The silent treatment, _great_.

"I swear, if I knew you were going to end up like this…" She sighed again, exasperated. "You know what, I should've just stopped meeting you after that first semester ended. Or better yet, I wish I never met you at all! It would've easily saved me _all_ of this trouble."

Now _that_ got a reaction out of Kliff, who frowned at her insult. The swirl of confusion, fear, sadness and something else ( _he doesn't want to give it a name, he hated how easily it rose up at the sight of **her** and left him with a despicable longing and it just, why did he still feel this way—_) in his chest had promptly been dispelled by what Tatiana just uttered, of the idea of them having never met in university – she hated him this much, huh?

To think that all those years they spent together could be dismissed by such words. Hell, their friendship was broken the moment Tatiana ran away and cut off all contact from him, it was obvious that she never cared for him as much as he did towards her in the first place.

It struck a nerve in him – a stinging, burning sensation.  
It filled the hole where that whirlpool had once been, and yet…  
Different, it felt _different_.

How would he describe it?

_…Ice cold **venom** , instead of a fiery rage._

Clenching his teeth, Kliff glared back at the woman who stood at the other side of the table, that person who was now merely a _stranger with a familiar face_ — and he, too, got up from his chair. "…Oh, same here. Maybe in _that_ universe, I would've been spared from the pain you gave me by running away!"

" _'Running away?'_ "  
Her voice carried a certain _edge_ to it, and with it, a heavy silence fell upon the room.

Tatiana Qwartz quietly leaned forward and placed her hands on the table.

…Slowly, Kliff watched as the flames from her head returned to the same level of intensity from a while ago. Ferocious and bright as they nearly licked the top of the ceiling, aided by their vigour and the woman's height—

"Kliff Hangar, are you seriously saying that you were _hurt_ by that? That's _nothing_ compared to the pain _you_ gave me in return," Tatiana retorted, bitterness coiled around her very words. Her hair's fire seemingly bristled at Kliff's reply, burning brighter as her anger grew along it. "Remind me again, who was the first to say _'I hate you'_ to the other party? Don't think that I've forgotten about that one night all those years ago!"

That night?  
That _one_ night, where they met by chance?

She was bringing that up now?

It was so absurd that Kliff _laughed_ , blue eyes twinkling with mirth as his lips twisted into a sardonic smile.

"Hah! So, _you_ can hurt me, but _I_ can't hurt you back? You think you can cut off all contact from me and run away, make me _waste my time_ with trying to find your whereabouts because I was worried about you, only for you start a company years later without telling me, and you _still_ think I was an idiot for being hurt by what you've done—" Gradually, his laughter turned nigh-hysterical. "Oh my god, why did I even bother? Why you, of all people?"

Why her?  
Why did he still _feel_ something for this woman?  
After all these years, after everything she'd done to him?

_Really, to think that his life ended up this way **because** of her—_

As if a switch had been flipped, Kliff abruptly stopped laughing… and he stared at Tatiana with a look on his face – of regret, of sadness, and most especially of _fury_. "I remember _very well_ who said it first… and for the record, _I still hate you!_ "

Tatiana stared at him, stunned to silence.  
That's it, he's gone _insane_ —

"Well, I hate you more!"

"Oh, yeah? I hate you even more!"

"I wish you would just disappear from my sight!"

"I wish you never dragged me into your mess in the first place!"

The two kept bickering back and forth at this point, the argument intensifying until the two were openly _screaming_ at each other. Words devolved into petty insults as Tatiana didn't even bother keeping up her CEO persona, much like how Kliff didn't care if she could make his life worse with a single command. All that mattered was one thing – they wanted the other person to _hurt_.

"For your information, I _hated_ your stupid headband! Why do you keep wearing something like that when it's so… I don't know, _old-fashioned_?!"

"Hey, if you're gonna insult my outfit, then it's fair play to say that I hate your glasses as well – who the hell wears tinted glasses when you're short-sighted? How do you work like that?!"

"Do you even _know_ what you're saying?! You're wearing glasses as well, you insolent _dolt_! And these are _prescription glasses_!"

"Oh, reminder, I'm wearing _normal_ prescription glasses! You're already missing the point, I— graaah! Why didn't you just leave me to rot in this prison?!"

"I would have done that in the first place if you weren't such a persistent thorn in my side!"

"Tatiana. _Tatiana_. For god's sake, Tatiana— I'm a prisoner, I'm in _jail_ for the next five years of my life, and you never gave a damn about me even back in that dull office of yours, so why am I a thorn in your side _now_?!"

"Because you're such a— such a… _fucking, **ARGH**!_"

"Ack—!" Kliff took a few steps back from the table in alarm as Tatiana's fiery hair flared to a level where the heat could actually be felt from where he currently stood. The fire would've burned a pitch-black pockmark into the ceiling had she not immediately moved over to a corner of the room, where the room's air-conditioning unit was.

With her back to the prisoner (so his face wouldn't _piss her off_ any further), Tatiana was pulling up every memory that she could still remember of her lessons in holding back her temper, in an attempt to not burn down this room at this instant. Counting to ten, deep breaths, _everything_ – she should have known better than to get into another argument with Kliff, but this _bastard_ was just— _damn it_ , okay, she should stop thinking for a moment.

The cold air coming from the air-conditioning unit above her was helping to get her hair's fire under control, but not as quickly as she hoped. Would've been better if someone could douse a bucket of water on her, that would easily dispel this… _fury_ within her.

Right.

Count, just _count_.  
A deep breath for four, holding for seven, then out for eight.  
One, two, three, four…

In the meantime, Kliff didn't realise that he was backing away from the CEO until his back eventually pressed against the wall behind him, surprising him at the sudden feeling of a flat surface. His shoulders tensed up the longer he watched Tatiana do… _whatever_ it was she was doing over there. His heart was racing as he stared at her, and it didn't help that he already knew what would happen if he had infuriated her enough.

The thought of suffering yet another broken nose (or worse) was making him nervous.

She must be contemplating her next move.  
He can't see her face.  
Oh god, this is it.

She's going to kill him.

…Not literally, but— ugh, who is he trying to convince here?

Though, Kliff was further surprised when Tatiana _didn't_ actually kill him, instead cooling off to the point that the top of her head wasn't a huge, blazing fire anymore. The flames have mostly shrunk, but they still burned intensely… which meant that he wasn't out of the woods yet.

What is she going to do now?

Returning to the table, Tatiana let out a deep, _deep_ sigh… and placed her hands on the surface as she calmly stared at Kliff again, the mood whiplash visibly making the man uncomfortable at how easily she returned to being composed. She didn't even bother with sitting on her chair again, not after the argument (if it can be even be counted as one) they just had.

If anything, she was planning to leave and never return to this damned place again— but not before asking one last question.

This visit and the last left her with too many of them, left her wondering if those five years of her life (four of which were admittedly her _happiest_ ) where they were best friends amounted to nothing after all these years.

She wanted some closure, even if the answer would hurt.

"…Did our friendship even mean _anything_ to you, Kliff?"

Kliff blinked once, his mind taking a moment to process what Tatiana just asked him. After all that happened, and she finally brings that question up… but really, did she _have_ to ask that?

He presumed that his choice of words would've already informed her of everything she needed to know about how he felt, including the answer to her query.

_What a dense woman.  
She hasn't changed in that aspect, surprisingly._

"I thought you were smart? Do I have to spell it out for you?" Kliff asked back, sounding incredulous. Huffing, he turned his head away from her. "Yeah, _sure_ , Tatiana. It definitely meant _something_ to me, once upon a time," he finally answered in a flippant voice, focused on keeping his gaze anywhere _except_ for the CEO in front of him. "There, happy?"

Tatiana gritted her teeth in annoyance, breaking her calm facade.

"Liar."

_There's some truth in his words, but… he's lying, for some reason.  
He won't look at her.  
Why?_

_…Damn this man. Damn him. **Damn him!**_

And with that, she immediately turned around and left the room, slamming the door behind her once again.

Kliff felt the strength in his legs disappear the second Tatiana exited— and he slowly slid down against the wall until his knees touched the floor, exhaling quietly as he stared at the door in a daze. He should be sitting in the chair before the guards got in, but… just, _damn_.

This conversation did _not_ go the way he expected it to.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The drive back to NSR Tower from the prison for Tatiana was mostly spent stewing in anger in the backseat of the car… and if her personal driver had been concerned about what happened in there, the man didn't show it on his face – which is _good_ because had he dared to ask her, she would not react calmly in turn. The absolute _mess_ that was her second visit to the prison… it was too much to process in such a short amount of time.

It wasn't even _noontime_ yet, but she's already tired of everything.

Urgh, how frustrating.

She believed that her ire would soon extinguish the longer the drive went on. On the contrary, however, the burning in her chest was very much still alive. It festered and intensified the longer she had to stay seated in the car, and when it crept on the edges of her mind—

…The faint smell of smoke filled the air.

_Alright, that's the **last** straw._

Right eye twitching once, Tatiana heard the whirring sound of the car window being lowered to air out the smoke caused by her hair's fire singeing the roof of the car. Thankful as she was for her driver's discretion, she _needed_ to let off some steam before she burned her office down… or the car, for that matter.

She looked out of the window.

Mostly trees and grass here.  
Quiet and empty, since people from the city hardly visit this place.  
It'll do.

"Stop the car, I'm getting off."

Her driver glanced at her from the rear-view mirror.  
"In the outskirts, miss?"

"Yes, _now_."

The man said nothing more and immediately pulled over.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ordering her driver to wait for her until she returned, Tatiana had walked and walked until she was a good distance away from the car. The silence in the outskirts of Vinyl City was only broken by a few: the sounds of the few birds in the trees, the rustling of the foliage by the wind, the crunch of the grass and dead leaves under her heels… a tranquil place, indeed.

Well, she felt sorry for it – but not sorry enough.  
She will have to ruin that peace for a little bit.

She itched to **_burn_** , and it was better to do it here than in the city.

Once the CEO was certain that she was alone, she took one look around the place and settled her gaze upon a particular field that seemed isolated from the other patches of grass. Bordered by an uneven ring of dirt, the grass had grown long enough to reach even her knees.

…There was nothing out of the ordinary.

It was literally just a small field.

After confirming that simple fact, Tatiana took a deep breath… and promptly screamed her head off, a tower of fire _bursting_ forth from the top of her head— " ** _FUCKING DAMN IT!!_** "

The sound of her voice was immediately followed by the cacophony of birds frantically flying off from the trees nearby, frightened by the mere the pitch of her voice as feathers and leaves swirled about in the air. She wasn't bothered one bit, and instead proceeded to kick a small rock that was stuck in the ground off into the air, pieces of dirt flung about once the rock was dislodged.

"I should've fucking _known!_ "  
The rock fell off far into the distance.  
"Lying to my face, of all things? Hah! The bastard should've just said _no_ outright!"  
Of course, it didn't do much to relieve this… _itch_.

_It was like a spark, a catalyst just waiting for a chance to **burst** —_

"…Why did I even bother visiting him a second time?" Tatiana hissed under her breath, gritting her teeth so hard that it felt as if they would _break_ from the pressure alone. Why did she think that visiting Kliff was a decent idea in the first place? Both visits have resulted in her getting furious (a good example was _right now_ ) as well as vague answers to the questions regarding Kliff himself, not to mention creating _more_ in the list.

It was an utter waste of time.

But… was it really?

Despite the way both visits have ended up, she still learned a few things about Kliff that contrasted the way he behaved on the night of the satellite incident. Naturally, she would want to dig into the reason for that discrepancy – the fool could've easily gone along with her and said the right answers to the questions that mattered most, for the best chance of lessening her anger towards him.

And yet, a simple query on whether or not did their past friendship meant _anything_ to him… and he _lied_.

It was obvious from his behaviour.

He was being oddly dismissive about it, and his answer contrasted with the tone of his voice. However, a part of her somehow _knew_ that those words still held a grain of truth in it… except, _what_ did he lie about and _why_ would he lie?

Was it the answer, or the tone?

_Which is it?_

…Ugh.  
_Ughhhh.  
_Fuck this shit.

Covering her eyes with a hand, Tatiana sharply inhaled for a few moments before slowly letting it out… and she decided that she was _done_ with thinking about this matter. "Fine then, if the damn idiot wants to be a complicated _buffoon_ …" she muttered out, hand falling as her gaze moved down to stare at the ground, acutely aware that one of her feet was beginning to feel very, _very_ warm.

Oh yes, she didn't feel sorry enough for this field.  
It'll grow back after a while, anyway.

Grass and weeds always were tenacious enough to return within a few weeks, no matter what happened to them.

Tatiana soon grabbed a fistful of her dress, lifting it up slightly to aid in her next move… then, she _roared_ : "Then he can go **_fuck_** _himself for all I care_ — _!!_ "

With a single _stomp_ onto the field, a small burst of flames emanated from her foot – the fire _rippled_ , spreading out across the field like the waves created by a stone dropped into water. The further their reach went, the smaller the wave became until the last wisps of fire had dissipated away. At the same time, whatever the wave of fire touched was instantly ignited… and beneath the fire-wielding woman's heel, the epicentre of the wave had long been burned away into ash and dust.

Breathed heavily after that outburst, Tatiana felt some form of twisted satisfaction fill her as she watched the fire consume the field mercilessly with each passing second, leaving behind charred remains that were still glowing a deep red.

Clouds of smoke rose up into the air, the grey contrasting against the blue sky.

It was quite the sight.

…Well, at least she felt better now, noting that her head was finally cooling down. While her hair's fire died off, _this_ one should be contained since it was isolated from other patches of grass in the area, and it wasn't a windy day in particular. She ( _probably_ ) wouldn't have to worry about it going out of control.

Nodding once to herself, Tatiana turned around to leave. Time to head ba—

" _Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!_ "

"What the—?!" Tatiana immediately looked behind her at the sound of what seemed like a girl's scream – lo and behold, a young woman with what appeared to be _bunny ears_ on her head ( _a question for a better time!_ ) was frantically standing up, clutching a device in her hands as she tried to escape the fire before it reached her.

Oh, _damn it!_

Why didn't she notice?!

Glancing down at the field, the CEO mentally cursed the fact that once the fire had left her body, she could no longer control it, else she would have long extinguished it upon realising that she wasn't alone in this place. She quickly looked up at the girl again, deciding to lift her dress up slightly so it would be easier to run over to her as she yelled— "Get out of the grass!"

"Eek!" The girl stumbled once in her panic, shrieking when the flowers stuck in her leg joints (wait, they're prosthetics—) nearly caught on fire. Tatiana held her breath at the sight, but sighed in relief when the girl managed to escape the field just seconds before the fire fully consumed it.

She was visibly shaking where she stood, watching as the flames crackled and burned the grass to a crisp.

A close call, there.

"You there, are you alright?!" Tatiana rushed over to the girl, concerned if her actions have harmed her indirectly. If only she had checked the field properly rather than taking it at face value… the grass had been tall enough to cover the girl, hence why she didn't notice in the first place. She would've been able to prevent this mess from happening had she just—!

…Urgh, there's no use crying over spilt milk.

She just had to deal with it.  
No running away from her mistakes.

Sighing, Tatiana stopped in front of the girl and nodded at her. "My apologies, miss, I should have—"

"No, no— I-I should be the one apologizing, Miss Tatiana! I shouldn't have zoned out—" The teal-haired girl squeaked out an apology, interrupting the CEO mid-sentence. She was still trembling, bunny ears drooping down in fright.

"…looked… before…?" The older woman blinked once as she trailed off, confused for a brief moment.

Wait, what?  
Why is _she_ the one being apologised to—

"Stop right there, young miss. _This_ is my fault alone," Tatiana said as she straightened herself and attempted to regain some form of her usual CEO demeanour as she spoke, which was difficult enough when she's already dishevelled from all the running and burning and— you get the picture. "You may attempt to say otherwise, but it is evident that the mistake lies with me. I should have checked my surroundings first."

At closer look, the young woman certainly had a rabbit theme to her appearance, with bunny ears (attachments, perhaps?) and a rabbit-like mask on her face. Tatiana would've assumed that the mask was static, but when she saw it _blinking_ at her, she realised that it was actually a screen that was worn _as_ a mask. Another interesting fact to note was that the girl wore leg prosthetics, flowers embedded in the knee joint of both legs.

Last of all, the girl was still holding onto something that had a lone wire sticking out of a port.

Is that…?

"Oh— no no no, you really don't h-have you apologise! It's my fault for not paying attention, I was too busy listening to music… s-so, I should be the one apologising to you, M-Miss Tatiana!" The bunny girl sobbed out as she shook her head, her mask simulating a crying face. "I-I'm so sorry!"

"I…"

Oh, Qwasa.  
Now the young lady was crying.

 _Good job_ , Tatiana Qwartz.

Tatiana facepalmed herself as she let out a _long_ sigh.

"…I still believe that you're not at fault, miss. However, I'd rather not get into another debate today so we'll leave it at that." Letting her hand fall, the CEO dug into her vest's pocket and took out a small handkerchief (white in colour, with gold embroidery along the edges), holding it out to the girl. "Wipe your tears. This isn't something you should be crying about."

"Oh… t-thank you, um…" Carefully accepting the handkerchief, the young woman turned away from Tatiana. While Tatiana couldn't exactly see what the girl was doing, she spotted a movement that resembled that of lifting one's mask up, possibly to wipe her tears without letting her face be seen. As soon as she was done, the girl returned the handkerchief back which Tatiana stored into her vest's pocket once more.

Fingers now nervously tugging on the fabric of her sweater's sleeve, the girl decided to break the awkward atmosphere with a curious question. "…Uh, Miss Tatiana, you seemed… r-really stressed out. Er… i-if you don't mind me asking… what… seems to be the problem?"

A moment later, the girl immediately cowered and lowered her head. "N-never mind, I shouldn't be intruding on your personal issues, ma'am…!"

Tatiana raised an eyebrow at her.  
Quite a timid person.

"…No, it's fine." Letting out a small sigh afterwards, the CEO massaged her temple in an attempt to relieve the mild headache coming on – after letting off steam the way she did, it was no surprise that she was beginning to have one. "I… merely had an argument with someone I used to know, that's all."

That was as much as she would say about it.

If she talked any further about what happened with Kliff, surely, she would start getting mad all over again. Not only that, ranting about private matters to someone she personally didn't know was just a bad practice in general.

"Ah, o-okay... uh…" The teal-haired girl slowly nodded in understanding, though whether or not she understood the context…

Well, Tatiana wasn't going to bother correcting it. She glanced at the girl again, then raised a question of her own: "I must ask, however, as to why a citizen is currently in the outskirts of the city. People hardly visit this particular area." After all, there was nothing here except for greenery (and a few paddy fields belonging to a village or two) outside the borders of Vinyl City.

Citizens wouldn't have a reason to come here in the first place, since there was nary a thing of interest for them. Hence, why she decided to burn something _here_ instead of in the city.

She assumed that there would be no one here… alas, she was wrong today.

"Umm, my music is… usually pretty quiet, and— and it doesn't work very well in noisy areas, so that's why…" answered the young woman, who still kept her head low. "P-plus, I could practice my abilities here without having people… s-stare at me." Her bunny ears drooped, obviously ashamed about something – although it didn't last long, and she soon perked up as those ears of hers straightened themselves. "Oh! Um, this probably not much, but…"

Her hand moved to take something out of her sweater's pocket, revealing it to be a small MP3 player and a pair of earphones, the latter which was merch of the virtual idol Sayu. "…if you're frustrated, m-maybe… listening to music could help? It'd be less… _burny_ than lashing out, y-y'know?" She laughed nervously. "My music isn't very good… b-but I hope it helps!"

Listening to music, hm?

It's no doubt one of the few ways a person could destress themselves…

Looking at the device, Tatiana contemplated her options momentarily. Considering the fact that she left the prison early yet again, leaving her with a lot of free time… and she didn't have much to lose either – if this girl's music could calm her down, why not?

It was certainly better than burning a field like she did earlier.

"…I might as well," Tatiana said with a sigh, deciding to give the method a chance as she held a hand out. She knew how to operate an MP3 player, at least. "Excuse me as I borrow your player for a few minutes."

The mask on the girl's face changed to that of a smiling one, and she gently gave the device and the earphones over to the CEO.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Was it the same person again?"

"…Huh?" Kliff lifted his gaze to stare at his cellmate confusedly, who sat opposite of him on the cafeteria table as they ate their lunch for the day. It's been a while after Tatiana's visit and the subsequent argument they had… and frankly, he was still out of it. "Run that by me again?"

Zachary chuckled quietly and shook his head. "You must've had quite the talk if you're just picking at your food rather than eating it, Kliff," he commented (albeit in a quiet voice, since they weren't supposed to be making loud noises during this period) while gesturing at Kliff's plate of food with his own spoon. "We've been sitting here for a few minutes and you've only had like… three bites? Anyway, I was asking if the person who asked to meet you was the same person."

Oh.

Was he acting like that all this while?

A sigh left his lips, and Kliff finally forced himself to scoop up some of the food into his spoon. Right, he should actually _eat_ rather than moping around. "Yeah… it was the same person. Just someone I used to know before I got in here. They wanted some answers to a few questions."

Someone he used to know… it was an apt description.  
Not like Zachary would ever learn that he used to personally _know_ the CEO of NSR.  
Who could imagine it, really?

Kliff held in the bitter smile that would've appeared on his lips and instead ate his food in silence. The Tatiana Qwartz he knew was now just a part of his past, a bittersweet memory of a woman he used to care about dearly.

_She's gone, and she's not coming back._

_Ever._

In the meantime, Zachary stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully. Someone his cellmate used to know, wanting answers? "A few questions, you say? Wouldn't a single visit be enough for that?"

The ginger-haired man grimaced. "The previous one… ended early, _and_ on a sour note."

"Ohh. Ouch."

"Yep."

"…How about this one?"

"Nnnnope. And I don't think they're coming back."

"Yeesh. That's rough, dude."

"Mhm."

…They didn't continue the topic after that.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sat upon a boulder not far from the field her flames had laid waste to, Tatiana has spent the past few minutes listening to the music created by the girl she _nearly_ burned – one of the comments she would've made had this been in the Lights Up Audition, was how… _calming_ it was. The longer she listened to it, the more her anger from earlier faded away… and now, she was back to a cool and composed state.

Although, there was something about this kind of music that nagged at her mind, more so out of curiosity. It was familiar to some extent… but not enough for her to remember the music's genre.

Perhaps it's time she had a proper talk with the young lady.

Turning off the MP3 player and taking off the earphones, Tatiana finally got up from the boulder and approached the bunny girl who was now sitting on the grass, looking up at the sky for some odd reason. The rustling of the grass as the CEO moved through the field made the younger woman notice her, prompting her to hurriedly get up, dusting her skirt as she did. "O-oh, Miss Tatiana! Um, how was it…?"

"…It helped. Thank you for lending me this," Tatiana replied as she returned both the MP3 player and the earphones. "If you don't mind me asking, however… what genre is this music of yours?"

"It's, uh… Lo-Fi."

"Lo-Fi…? Ah, _that_ genre." Tatiana held her chin thoughtfully at the knowledge.

Now that would explain why the music had a calming effect in the first place – it was well-known on the Internet for being a music genre that people would listen to when doing work and such, or if they just wanted to relax. "I noted that it had a soothing effect the longer I listened to it; that would be the reason why."

The girl's bunny ears seemingly twitched for a moment. "Uhm, you can keep the MP3 player if you want, Miss Tatiana— or I could… er… send you some music! I-if that's okay with you." She unattached the Sayu earphones from the MP3 player, storing them in her pocket before holding the device out to the CEO. "Please, a-at least let me make up for being reckless back there…"

What, she's going to give the MP3 player?

Oh, that won't do.

At the offer, Tatiana sighed and shook her head. "Please, keep the player, I know these cost a lot even in this day and age. It wouldn't do to take something like this when you can simply send me your music instead," she said, carefully refusing the girl's hand that held the MP3 player. "And I do not mind being sent more of this type of music, if it's able to calm my anger down of all things."

She might need a lot more of it, if she ever ended up at the same level of anger that she was at just a while ago.

"Okay…" The girl put the MP3 player back into her sweater's pocket. "Um… how about I send it— er, to a cloud storage…? Or maybe… ah, I-I'll need your e-mail— wait, should I just… send it through the official company e-mail?" She sheepishly laughed, although it was just barely loud enough to not be a whisper. "T-Thank you for your time, Miss Tatiana. It… it kinda means a lot for a small artist like me…"

She lifted her head up – and her mask's expression morphed into that of a shy smile.

"I go by, um— Hare. O-on RecordTube, I mean…"

Hare, hm?  
A simple name.  
Fitting, with the bunny theme and all.

Though, it is odd that Tatiana has never heard of this girl, _Hare_ , through the grapevine of up and rising artists, even for the Lo-Fi genre… perhaps Hare wasn't well-known yet among the list of new musicians looking to climb up the ladder of fame.

"Well, nice to meet you, Miss Hare." Tatiana _finally_ had a name for this girl she nearly burnt. "As for the music, e-mail will do – I have one for private matters, you can send it through there." Albeit, that particular e-mail address has been collecting cyber dust as her most-used ones were those for her companies, NSR included… "Let me know what your e-mail is, and I'll tell you of mine," she added, taking out her phone.

Hare did the same as well, a little flustered. "O-oh, okay. My e-mail is…"

And so, they exchanged e-mails.

Once they were done, an awkward silence fell between the two women – Hare fidgeted with her fingers, her mask displaying an unsure expression as the eyes on the screen display flickered between staring at Tatiana and the ground.

"Uhhh…" Her voice trailed off, and she soon rolled up the sleeve of her sweater to look at what appeared to be a small watch, its design like that of a child's watch. "I r-really should get back home soon… I still have some stuff t-to edit and mix—" The teal-haired girl pulled down her sleeve, then bowed at the waist towards Tatiana. "It was nice to meet you, Miss Tatiana! Um— I'll get t-the music sent to you as soon as I can… and, uh, I hope you and your acquaintance can settle your d-differences!"

A smile on her mask, Hare waved goodbye at Tatiana before quickly running off in the direction leading back the city, seemingly in a hurry.

Well… that was an interesting experience.

However, Hare must have assumed that by _'having an argument with someone she used to know'_ meant that the CEO had a disagreement with an employee of NSR, or possibly one of NSR's Charters— when in reality, she just had a squabble with a man she _should've_ left alone to rot in a prison, but for some ungodly reason, she couldn't do just that.

…This visit could have gone a lot better, admittedly.

Tatiana sighed.

Eventually, she took a few moments to tidy herself up, then turned around to return to the car. She has stayed here for long enough, not to mention that her mood has calmed down significantly.

It was time to return to work.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Minutes after arriving at her office and sitting in her chair, Tatiana turned her phone on and stared at the screen. There was nothing to check for in particular, no messages, no missed calls, no nothing – but there was _something_.

A few taps later, she held it to her ear.

As infuriating as that bastard was…  
…their talk was _not_ over yet.

"Hello. I'd like to make an appointment for another visit."

~*~*~*~*~*~…~*~*~*~*~*~

To be honest, Kliff wasn't even surprised anymore when on the following day, he was called and escorted to the same private room for the third time in a row. He even managed to keep a straight face as Tatiana Qwartz once again entered the room and dismissed the prison guard, although on the inside… he was, for a lack of a better word, _confused_ _as all hell_.

After that argument they had just yesterday, he was certain that Tatiana _wouldn't_ visit him again. Obviously, he was wrong for the second time, so for what reason did Tatiana have to come and visit him today?

She already knew he was guilty over the satellite incident.

He screwed up on the answer as to _why_ he did it, but…  
…surely, she wasn't here to question him about that, is she?

When did trying to figure out what this woman's thought process was become so… complicated?

Ugh.

Once Tatiana was sitting across of him just like she did during the previous two visits, the ginger-haired man dropped the straight face and instead stared at her questioningly. At this point, he literally had no idea what the CEO was thinking. " _What_ are you doing, Tatiana?"

The woman's gaze sharpened.

" _Shut up_ , Kliff."

And all too easily did that tone of voice make the prisoner straighten up in his seat.  
Whatever courage he had just… _disappeared_ the instant she spoke.  
God, why is he like this?

Tatiana glowered at the man in front of her for a good moment, then sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. This man was giving her a week's worth of stress within a single visit, and this was her _third_ visit. As much as she questioned herself for doing so in the aftermath, the urge to find out the truth was stronger than the desire to not see Kliff's stupid face again.

…Right.

Time to get down to business.

Soon leaning back into her seat and crossing her arms, Tatiana finally revealed the reason why she was here – "Kliff Hangar, I will give you only _one_ chance to answer a question, and I expect it to be the _truth_ … or so help me, I _will_ punch you in the face again and leave for good. Do you understand me?"

At the thought of being punched again, Kliff couldn't help but grimace slightly.

Being struck by stone was not a pleasant experience.  
That broken nose took _weeks_ to heal.

"…Y-Yes. I understand."

"Good. Now… I am going to repeat my question from last time. Answer me with, and _only_ the truth." Tatiana already knew what he would answer, but she wished to hear it from Kliff himself. It would squelch all of those foolish notions that the man she knew during her university days wasn't truly gone, that she was merely entertaining a dying hope.

She wanted to be done with him, and so she will plunge a stake into the heart of this pitiful dream.  
Let her be done with him, let her move on.

His answer will be the final blow.

"Kliff, did our friendship mean anything to you…? Yes, or no?"

Kliff stared back at his ex-best friend in silence, their gazes unyielding, unbreaking. The last time he answered this question, he attempted to not let his true feelings show by maintaining a non-serious attitude – but the CEO had caught on to the lie, and so… well, she wanted the truth, didn't she?

Then the truth she will get.

He sighed.

"…Yes, it did mean something, Tatiana. It meant… _everything_ … to me."

Those very words made Tatiana freeze in place – and for a fleeting moment, the stern expression on her face turned into one of genuine surprise. She had been prepared to get up and leave the room after saying a few scathing words in return, all of it the instant Kliff answered _no_ … but he said _yes_ instead, and he said that it meant _everything_ to him—

If… what he just answered was the truth, then didn't that mean…?

_She ignored the way her chest tightened, as if her heart skipped a beat.  
No, **no** , she can't forgive him all that easily just because he answered yes.  
Too much, too late._

She let out a shaky breath.

Somehow, there was a calm expression on her face after that reveal.

Tatiana slowly got up from her seat and walked around the table to approach Kliff, who uneasily watched her get close to him – the sound of her footsteps made him tense up with each step, until he was directly staring up at the CEO. "…Tatiana?"

…And she promptly decked him in the face, but with less force than last time.

" _Ow!_ " Nevertheless, the force of the punch was still enough to make Kliff fall backwards onto the floor along with the chair he sat on, a loud _clang_ resonating from the chair hitting the ground. "Augh…" He held his face in pain, groaning. Oh, that definitely still hurt a damn lot, at least his nose wasn't broken again— "W-what was that for?!" he cried out indignantly, glaring at Tatiana from between his fingers. "I told you the truth!"

The woman merely huffed, glaring down at the prisoner. "While I would thank you for answering truthfully… frankly, I still hate you," she spat back, ignoring the twinge in her chest as she admitted her hate for the man once more.

First, he told her that he hated her, then he helped Bunk Bed Junction with the Rock Revolution and even sent her company's satellite down from the atmosphere like a damn meteor— and now he said that their friendship meant _everything_ to him? This man was a bloody _enigma_ , with all of his conflicting answers and actions... what the hell was she supposed to think of him after all of that?

"If our friendship mattered _so much_ to you, then why did you deorbit the satellite in the first place? Why say that you hated me… why _everything_ , Kliff?"

Kliff was still busy getting off the floor when Tatiana asked that of him. The area around his nose was beginning to look a little red, but he was trying to not let it show that the pain in his face was bothering him.

He definitely didn't miss this aching sensation.

"Why everything, you ask…?" he quietly questioned back as he got back up on his two feet, standing straight in front of the CEO that had once been his best friend in university. Hands slowly clenching into fists, he hissed out: "Because _you_ abandoned _everything_ , Tatiana. You became someone completely different from the Tatiana Qwartz I knew, someone who didn't have any qualms with abandoning everyone and everything in her life if it meant she can have _order_ in this city, when it was all just a damned _oppression_ of the populace!"

_It still hurt after all these years.  
How could she just…_

_Why?_

"You abandoned Rock. You abandoned the very genre that made up both our university years and our friendship, a genre which you said that you would rather _die_ than to stop making music of. You abandoned your friends, you even abandoned _me_ — not even a goodbye, not even a reason _why_ , you just _left_ without a warning! Do you know just how _painful_ it was to live every day of your life wondering what you did wrong to make your best friend run away, feeling guilty and confused and having no way to find out the truth?! It was a living _hell_!"

Tatiana said nothing.

Not a word, not even a change in her expression.

Kliff continued on nonetheless, his voice straining against the emotions threatening to burst out of him. He tried to pay no attention to the stinging sensation in his eyes, and he took another deep breath—

"…Was I just some afterthought in your life, despite being your best friend for _five damn years_? I spent half a decade searching for you, asking around and everything— then one day, I saw _you_ on the television screen, announcing that you would bring _order_ with that company of yours. Even then, you never bothered to try and contact me when you had all the power to do so as the head of NSR – I… god, Tatiana, you made me feel like I was _nothing_."

He laughed bitterly.

Maybe it was his fault for not being able to move on. Perhaps Tatiana had all the right reasons to abandon him and everything and everyone else, including Rock— but… she could have just visited him _once_. Tell him the reason why she left, why they couldn't continue their friendship, why she erased all traces of Rock from Vinyl City. A proper goodbye, too.

He might have (probably _would_ have) accepted it in a heartbeat, if it meant she was happy.

It would've been better than _nothing_.

"With each passing year since the day you left… I found myself beginning to hate you. I couldn't move on at all, no matter how much I tried to forget you – you were always on a screen somewhere, and seeing your face reminded me of _everything_ that happened. Then, I watched you destroy every last trace of Rock music from Vinyl City, turning it into an EDM empire. You didn't care about the blackouts, instead focusing on your company over everything else."

The CEO looked away from him this time.  
If she showed remorse, he couldn't see.

His vision was beginning to blur.

"And when you insulted me back in that office of yours, after all that I asked of you?" Kliff's voice was now quiet, the anger he felt earlier having been long replaced with sorrow. "You practically just confirmed that you didn't care about me, despite everything we've been through. Soon enough, all those years of anger and pain, of _hating_ you… they came flowing back, and I just… _snapped_."

Something wet and warm trailed down his face.

Kliff quietly sniffled, wiping away the tear with the back of his sleeve.  
He didn't bother wiping away the rest that came forth.

"…That's why I did it. I lied when I said that I was saving it for another day – it was easy to hack, sure… but I never wanted to deorbit the satellite, not without good reason. Not even for the Revolution. But it was the only thing I had on hand which can _make_ you hurt for that insult, and… it happened."

He'll have to live with that guilt for a long time.

"I know it's a late one, but… I'm sorry. For deorbiting NSR's satellite."

His expression hardened, then. It contrasted with the droplets that fell down the man's face, ocean eyes glimmering with tears. "I won't apologise for the Revolution, though. Or anything else before that. I have no regrets towards those things."

…Soon, a heavy silence fell between them.

Neither said a word, unsure of what to say.  
What _should_ they say?

Too much has been said and done.

It would take _a lot_ more to reverse all that had happened in the past.

All this while, Tatiana had turned her face away from Kliff so he wouldn't see the look on her face – a conflicted expression, guilt in her eyes. No, they didn't sting or anything, _no_. She was _not_ that emotional woman anymore, she was… better than this.

_But it hurts._

_It hurts a lot._

Honestly, she didn't want to look at the man standing in front of her. Not after all that he just admitted to her, of hatred and torment and _everything_ in between. She would rather leave the room and run away than to deal with something like this… but she forced herself to do so, knowing that this conversation couldn't stall forever. So, with a deep sigh, she turned her head to look at him—

And all too easily did her chest clench _painfully_ at the sight of tears on his face.  
It felt as if the old Kliff Hangar from her past was standing before her.

_Having longed to see the shadow of a man who had once been there for her… now faced with a glimpse, she realised that she didn't know what to do with it._

Oh, Qwasa.

She can't bring herself to stare at him any longer.

"…Kliff, I will admit that I've done you wrong on that end. I should've thought my decisions through before I chose to break all contact from you, and I should've at least clarified my reasons for leaving so abruptly," she confessed in a quiet voice, eyes now downcast. She hated it, the way her body began numbing up from the mess of emotions threatening to rear their heads on her face – still, she _had_ to speak or they'll never get anywhere.

"You weren't an afterthought. You were my _best friend_ , for Qwasa's sake – I've thought of you, yes… and yet, I assumed that you would've moved on from me by the time I established NSR. That's why I never tried. I'm… sorry, for never giving you the closure you needed."

A mistake, clearly.  
They were close, too close to just simply _forget_ about each other.

She knew that now.

The Tatiana Qwartz of that time _didn't_ , however.

"That aside… I know my mistakes regarding NSR. You're free to condemn me for my actions during that time, _but_ —" Her voice took on a sharp tone, and she glared at him once more. Or at least, she _tried_ to do so… and her gaze eventually softened, the embers of a fight having long left her. She just sighed, shaking her head. "…I still hate you, Kliff. I can't forgive you for deorbiting the satellite, _and_ for having a hand in the Rock Revolution. Even if you didn't mean to do the former, I can't simply forget that."

Kliff weakly chuckled in response.  
It held no warmth, sounding almost emotionless.

"Fair. I can't forgive you either for leaving me."

Much like how Tatiana couldn't forget nor forgive his wrongdoings towards her, even Kliff couldn't simply forget the pain he went through in the years following up to NSR's establishment. A mere apology doesn't have the power to erase all of that.

…God, how the hell did they end up this way?

They were _best friends_ , and then… it all came crashing down.  
When did a friendship turn into hatred and anger?

It was as if they had been played quite the shitty hand by life.

After a while of being quiet, Kliff finally wiped away the tear streaks from his face, shuddering briefly as he tried to steady his breathing. He glanced up at Tatiana, wondering if she felt the same as him, or if he was the only one left. He felt like an idiot for being the only one who was openly crying – maybe he really was the only person between them who still cared for this broken friendship of theirs.

He wouldn't be surprised if she never came back after this visit. She had all the answers she needed, said her apologies even though they wouldn't forgive each other… she had a life as a CEO ahead of her, while he'll be in prison for five years of his life.

Their paths had long diverged from one another.

Perhaps, this is just their fate.

"At least, before you go… tell me why you left, Tatiana. You didn't say goodbye, you never even left a message explaining _why_. So, why did you do it?" Kliff's voice was hoarse, devoid of both the anger and sorrow he felt from earlier. He just sounded… empty. "You owe me the truth for this."

Hearing that, Tatiana sighed.

The truth over her departure, is it?

There were many things going on at the time, what more with her… _precarious_ mental state. The aftermath of the disbandment of the Goolings didn't leave anyone unscathed, including herself. She was loath to recall those memories, though she _did_ owe the man an explanation, no matter how painful the truth would be – and so, she relented. "…Fine. The reason I left… the reason I abandoned everything…? It was because I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth of how I thought about Rock at that point."

As much as Kliff tried to support her during those few months where everything felt like a blur, a haze of feeling useless and worthless and an utter _failure_ of a leader— the fact that he kept bringing up the suggestion of playing a rock song or two to try and feel better just made it worse, made her remember the mistakes she did with the Goolings.

How it all exploded in her face, how it ended with but a single order.

_We're **done**._

_We're no longer going to be making any fucking kind of damn music.  
Not even hang out.  
I'm done with all of you._

_Get out of my studio._

That was the second time she was ever forceful during her time as the leader of the Goolings, and it was to end a band that was practically one of the best things in her life at that time.

"I _know_ that you tried to help me. You tried to cheer me up, you tried to support me as I fell into depression… I remember it well, I appreciate your efforts, but…" Tatiana started trembling, without even realising it. "…Kliff, you completely missed the point of _why_ I couldn't simply pick up my guitar and play Rock again. Every time I looked at that damned Kul Fyra guitar, every time I heard people talk about the Goolings and how we disbanded, every time I heard one of our songs being played—!"

Her throat tightened.  
When did speaking become so difficult?

The world was turning into a blotchy mess.

"All of it, they reminded me of the mistakes I made as a leader… it was my fault alone that the band broke up, and the guilt was destroying me from the inside— worse yet, Rock music as a whole was ruined for me because that's what the Goolings are, a fucking _Rock band_! I didn't want to play music of that genre anymore, because it would just make me remember just how much of a fucking _failure_ I was!"

She was a disappointment.

She failed everyone.

"I knew how much you loved Rock, so I tried to be subtle about it without outright telling you that I was _done_ with that genre… but you missed all the hints, you never realised it." Tatiana choked out a laugh. "Eventually, I got sick of it all – I wanted to run away from everyone and everything in my life, I wanted to throw away all that connected me to that damned band! I didn't want to hear about Rock nor have people ask me to play it again, including _you_ — so, I left!"

To tear apart the ties that bound her to Rock – the Goolings, Kul Fyra, and Kliff…  
…hence, with only a small bag of her belongings on her back, she ran.

Ran, ran, _ran_.  
Away from the heart of the city, back to _home_.  
She didn't know how long she hid there.

She couldn't remember much from those days, either way.

"There…! That's why I ran away! I felt so bad about hating Rock when _you_ loved it so much, that I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth! _Damn it_ , Kliff – I don't know _why_ but for some stupid reason, the me of that time still _cared_ for you over everything else! The very thought of seeing you disappointed or angry at me for failing to move on from the Goolings… I was _scared_. I couldn't handle it, my fears got to me, and—!"

As she struggled to speak through her tears, Tatiana furiously rubbed her face with her gloves to try and clear up her vision, but more and more tears just kept bubbling up like popcorn—

She choked back a sob, gritting her teeth as she struggled to fight against her emotions.

Fuck, _fuck_.

Why can't she stop _crying_?  
She's not that inept crybaby anymore, so why…?!

At the same time, Kliff could only stare at her in shock, a pained expression on his face. Was that the reason why she left, all those years ago? Because she didn't want to see his disappointment in knowing that she no longer wanted to play Rock? "Tatiana…"

He tried to get close, but the CEO immediately stepped away from him.

" _No_. No, just, _don't_. Please—" Tatiana shook her head at him frantically, magenta orbs visibly glistening with tears. "Don't take another step." And she took another step back, then another, before suddenly turning around and moving towards the door. She didn't even give him a chance to respond, exiting the room faster than he could react.

The slamming of the door effectively ended their conversation, right then and there.

Left alone once more, Kliff stared at the door in silence.

_She left because she was afraid of disappointing him.  
Oh god, how did he never notice?  
What kind of friend is he?_

_…His chest ached._

A whisper came from the man.  
"Tati… you could have just _told_ me. I was your best friend…"

But she was long gone.


End file.
